Shared Custody: Raising One Daughter Together

A Daughter for Both
From the very first moment I met Edward, our love sparked instantly. Wed only been seeing each other for a month when, on yet another evening walk, he suddenly turned to me and said,
Hannah, will you marry me?
I just stared at him in shock.
What? How can you ask me to be your wife? Its only been a month
So what? Ive had enough of this month to know for certainyoure the one I want. Its always been you, and I dont care about any other girls.
Oh, Edward, I laughed quietly and rested my head against his chest, Well I suppose I do.
Afterwards, my mother insisted on asking,
Darling, are you sure youre not rushing things? Youre not expecting, are you?
Oh Mum, nothing like that. Edward simply said he couldnt live without me, and I feel the same way I suppose its just that sort of love.
People around us were surprised by our whirlwind marriage at first, but they soon understood we were meant to be together. Edward was constantly kind and attentive, genuinely cherishing me, and I adored and cared for him just as much.
Our love was genuine and deep, but there was one sadness that cast a shadow over our happinesswe desperately wanted a child, yet it just never happened.
Edward, perhaps we ought to get checked outmaybe theres a reason why I cant conceive.
He agreed right away. We had so much hope, saw all sorts of doctors, travelled back and forth to clinics, whispered silent prayersyet it was all in vain. I simply couldnt fall pregnant.
Then one day, Edward suggested timidly,
I was thinking, maybe we could go to the childrens home, adopt a little one and raise them as our own.
Yes, Id love that, I blurted out. Truth be told, Id dreamed of it for a long time, but had always been afraid Edward would object. Ive thought about it too
Well then, lets go, Edward said with finality. And I know just the place. I pass by it whenever I return from work trips.
When we arrived at the home, amongst dozens of wary, tired little faces, one blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl darted over to me and hugged my knees tightly.
Mummy! she cried, beaming up at me. And in that instant, I couldnt let her go.
Thats how little Lucy came into our livesa joyful, bubbly three-year-old whose laughter tinkled through the house like a mountain stream. For the first time, I truly felt what it meant to be a mother. All my maternal longing spilled out, and Edward adored little Lucy as much as I didshe became his whole world.
Life was good. We lived in a small English village, where most folk knew each other. Of course, our neighbours and friends were aware that Lucy was adopted. At first, when she was small, it didnt matter. But time passed, and as Lucy grewespecially once she began attending schoolsomeone eventually told her the truth: that shed been adopted from an orphanage.
She was fourteen when it happened. She came home from school, tears streaming down her cheeks, and stormed into a tantrum.
Mum, why didnt you and Dad ever tell me I wasnt your real daughter? I KNOW you got me from the childrens home
Oh darling, please calm down. We always planned to tell you, but we hoped youd be olderso it wouldnt upset you so much. We always worried this might happen, but now the secrets out, we cant change things
Lucy sobbed and shouted, then later withdrew into herself and became cold, even hostile towards us. Teenagers are challenging enough, but Lucy was suddenly rude, slammed doors, and lost all patience with us.
Then, as if that wasnt enough, tragedy struck. Edward diedkilled in a car accident, returning from a business trip to London with a colleague, just before Christmas. The snowstorm was so fierce, their car slid and, just like that, he was gone.
Edward had often travelled for work, sometimes for a week at a stretch, always sending a postcard when he couldmobile phones werent common then. When he died, I was forty-six. Instead of drawing closer, Lucy became even more impossible, staying out until all hours, barely speaking to me, acting out in every way.
I did my best to reach her, begged her with tears in my eyesnever once raising my voice. And thats how we lived. Lucy grew up quickly, grew distant. Then one day, after she finished her A-Levels, she told me, quite matter-of-factly,
Mum, Im moving to the city.
I looked at her, so tired, still holding the tea towel Id just been drying the dishes with.
To Uni, love?
She shook her head.
NoIm going to find my birth mother
My heart skipped a beat. But why, Lucy? Arent I your mum?
Lucy turned away to face the window, silent for a long time.
I need to know who she is. I need to understand why she left mewhy she abandoned me. I have a right to.
You do, sweetheart, I managed, barely above a whisper. I knew nothing I said would convince her otherwise.
She was nearly nineteen, after all. Lucy swiftly packed what little she owned into a small holdall, kissed me lightly on the cheek, and promised to visit now and then. Then she left for the bus stop, as I watched from the window, eyes full of longing and sorrow. And there I wasalone at last.
Time dragged on. The days felt endless. Id long retired, and as the long English winters crept in, I found myself sifting through Edwards postcards, which sat in their old toffee tin, tied with ribbon. There werent many, and the last onefaded, with holly sprigs on the frontstill read, My dearest Hannah, Ill be three days late, miss you and all my love, yours, Edward.
With trembling fingers, Id trace the words and press the card to my chest, as if I could embrace my husband once more. So many years had passednearly a quarter of a century since Edwards death.
I spent more time alone, rarely venturing beyond the gate, except for the odd trip to the corner shop. The sofa was now my perchalways blanketed, curtains drawn, post box forever empty, a quiet house. Only when Lucy visited with her boys did the place truly come to life, but those visits were rare. The photograph of Edward holding a tiny Lucy had a permanent place on the dresser; both of them beaming.
Oh Ed, you left so soon, you left me behind, Id say to the picture. Now Im all alone.
The house was silent but for Monty the cat, whod thump down from the window sill or occasionally purr loudly at my feet. After feeding Monty and finishing my tea, I resolved to walk to the shop later that day. As I carried my cup into the sitting room, I glanced back at Eds photo.
I was sipping my tea when I heard a knock at the gate. The memory of Lucy, standing there years before, telling me coolly she was off to London in search of her mother, hit me afresh. That grey morning, Id been sat in the kitchen, pouring myself a cuppa, when the unexpected visitor arrived.
I quickly put on my shoes and wrapped a shawl over my shoulders, stepping out into the chilly sunlight to open the latch. There, a woman stood, younger than me, her eyes sad and uncertain.
Hello You must be Hannah? Her voice trembled a little.
Yes, thats right. And you are?
The woman fidgeted, shifting her weight uneasily.
Im Lucys mother I mean, her other motherher birth mother. My names Sarah I suppose you understand
Ice ran through me. Only recently had Lucy left, and now her birth mother had somehow found me.
Is is something wrong with Lucy? Is that why youre herehas she found you?
Sarah hurriedly explained,
Lucys in hospital just now In London. Something with her stomachshe collapsed in the park, clutching her belly, white as a sheet. I called the ambulance straight away.
We stood in silence a moment, looking at each other.
She found me a while ago, but she was afraid to tell you, Sarah said softly, fighting back tears.
Oh heavens, dont just stand therecome inside, Sarah, I eventually managed, stepping aside.
I made her a hot cup of tea, and as we sat around the kitchen table, she explained,
I was only a girl when I had Lucy. My parents were very strictthey forced me to give her up. My boyfriend disappeared as soon as he heard I was expecting, and my parents threatened to throw me onto the street if I didnt comply. I signed the release at the hospital I lived with that ever since. Im sorry, this isnt about me. Lucy really wants you to come to the hospital.
Ill come at once! I said, jumping up. But why didnt she ring me?
Her bag with her phone and papers got stolen while she was waiting for the ambulance. She told me where to find youshe said, Find my mum.
We sat there a little longer, not as rivals, but as two anxious, worn-out souls.
Lets go, I said, locking the front door behind me. Lets hurry.
It felt like the bus to London was crawling alongSarah and I were silent at first, but eventually began sharing bits of our stories.
Im alone too, Sarah admitted. My husband passed away three years ago after a long illness. I never had another child. I suppose it was fateperhaps my punishment for giving up Lucy. Thats my cross to bear
So, really, Lucys all either of us has, I said quietly.
Thats about the size of it, Sarah replied sadly. We share a daughter, the two of us.
At the hospital, the receptionist asked,
Who are you here for?
For our daughter, Lucy Brown, we replied in unison.
And you are…?
Her mother, we answered together, then burst out laughing.
Two mothers? Well then, in you go
There was Lucy, pale as milk, a drip attached to her arm. When she saw us, she smiled weakly.
Mum and mum she whispered.
I kissed her first.
Im here, love. Im with you, I soothed, as Sarah took the seat by her side.
Everythings going to be alright, darlingyoure not on your own anymore, Sarah told her, tucking the blanket under her chin.
We stayed with her for hours, talking over so many things.
From that day on, Lucy had two mumsand soon after, a husband and two sons of her own. As for me and Sarah, we share a daughter together. Sometimes, all of us get togetherone big, rambling family.
Thank you for reading. Wishing everyone happiness and good fortune.