**Diary Entry**
*15th June 2023*
*So, a marriage certificate really is stronger than just shacking up, eh? The lads used to tease Nadia.*
When Rita called, urging her to attend their university reunion for the thirtieth anniversary, Nadia nearly dropped the phone. Im not goingIll only end up depressed. Let the ones who went every year turn up. They wont notice how much theyve changed.
Whats got into you? Rita sounded baffled. We met five years ago, and you looked perfectly fine. Have you put on weight or something?
Its not about thatI just dont want to go. Drop it, Rita!
Nadia was ready to hang up, hoping that would be the end of it. But Rita clung on like a bulldog.
Nadia, our numbers are thinning as it is.
What, someones died? Nadias stomach lurched. She didnt think of herself as *that* oldnot old enough for her classmates to start dropping off.
No, but half of them have emigrated. The only one we lost was Andrew Bushtwenty-five years ago, when he was still young. I told you about him.
Stop making excuses. Our whole years comingall four groups, though only about thirty will show. You finally got your son married, didnt you? Come on, live a little!
Rita kept talking, but Nadias mind drifted back to Andrew. Hed always had dark circles under his eyes, a quiet lad the others mocked for being soft. Turned out, hed had a weak heart. A bright student, hed dreamed of building a suspension bridge in his hometown. Never got the chance.
What had *she* done with her life?
Fallen for Ian, a foreman at the construction site where she worked after graduation. He was on a rota, coming to their town for shifts before returning home. Theyd dated for years. Hed even called her his wife in front of everyone.
*A civil partnership proves real love,* hed say. *People stay together because they want to, not because of some piece of paper.*
Then shed found out she was pregnantright as Ian stopped showing up for work. Turned out, he had three kids and a sick wife. He resigned without a word to her.
What could she demand from a man with three children and an ill spouse?
She left construction before anyone noticed, though one of the lads had the nerve to smirk: *So, a marriage certificate *is* stronger, eh?*
Nadia didnt care anymore. She took a job at a corner shop, arranged by a neighbour. Two days a week, even after the baby came. Her mother agreed to mind little Tommythough not without a lecture.
*I raised you better than this!*
*Well, you raised me, didnt you?* Nadia shot back, immediately regretting it.
*I hoped youd be sensible! I slaved to put you through university, and this is what you do?*
*Like mother, like daughter. What did you expect?*
Theyd hugged and cried after, but what good did that do?
So when Rita rang about the five-year reunion, Nadia hadnt gone. What would she say? *I mop floors in three different places now.*
Tommy was her only joy.
Her mother moved to her sisters village once he started nursery, claiming the city air didnt agree with her.
Then, out of nowhere, Nadia landed a part-time engineering job. Tommy was in school by then, and she managed just fineeven picking him up after club. People envied him for having such a devoted mum.
A colleague tried flirting once. She shut him down fast. *No strange men around my son.*
She proved herself at work, earning a full-time role later. Yet she always felt lesserworn out, hair gone grey, clothes plain. She didnt deserve happiness, not after what shed done.
Bright clothes? Makeup? No. That might attract attention, and shed learned her lesson.
Tommy, though, turned out grateful. Helped his gran in the villageplanting potatoes, chopping wood. Even her mother admitted: *Youre lucky with him.*
So what did she want with some café reunion?
All this flashed through her mind in seconds before Ritas voice cut in:
*Next Friday, three oclock. The café opposite the old halls. Come onIve got no one else to talk to.*
Something in Ritas tone made Nadia agree.
She regretted it instantly. Staring in the mirror, she tried calling backbut the line was busy.
Late that evening, she pulled out the blue dress Tommy had bought for his wedding. His wife, Natalie, had dragged her shopping, insisting she try things on. The dress had suited her, surprisingly. Theyd even got her hair done.
A year on, Tommy and Natalie were happy.
Now, the grey was back. Who was there to impress?
Still, she curled her hair, slipped into the dress, dabbed on lipstickthen wiped it off. *Too bold.*
The café was packed when she arrived. Rita spotted her instantly. *Nadia! You look gorgeous!*
Rita had put on weight, but it suited her. They chatted awhile before someone pulled Rita away. Nadia sipped juice, listening to their old student playlist, lost in memories.
Then a voice cut through the music:
*May I have this dance?*
She looked upand froze.
*Alex Saunders.* From the parallel group. Married in third year. Shed fancied him back then.
*Nadia, youre stunning. I dont recognise anyoneexcept you.*
She took his hand, ignoring Ritas raised eyebrows.
They danced in silence. Later, walking her home, Alex said, *Ive been divorced years. If youre spoken for, Ill just see you safely back.*
He did. Then they met again the next day. And the next.
When they married, Natalie helped pick the dress, grinning. *Mrs. Saunders, youre beautiful. Happiness isnt age-restricted, you know.*
At the reception, Nadia glanced at her husband*Alex*and smiled. *Maybe its my turn now.*
Shed forgiven herself at last.
**Lesson Learned:**
Happiness isnt a prize for the perfect. Sometimes its just a dance you finally allow yourself to take.
