Son, I dont want you and your wife to separate because of me! Just take me to a care home, please!
Its been six months since I brought my mum to live with us. Shes already quite elderlyeighty-three, in fact. Since Dad passed, its been hard for her to manage in the village on her own. My own children are all grown up, living their own lives, and so it was just me and my wife left in our two-bedroom flat in London. I thought bringing Mum to stay with us wouldnt be a problem.
At first, my wife didnt say much. But after just a week, she started getting irritated by Mums presence. Gifts for my wife didnt help.
Listen, she said, cant she eat her meals separately, after weve finished?
Whys that? I asked.
Well, it just makes things easier, thats all. My appetite disappears when I see her gumming at her food, especially with no teeth. Its unpleasant, really.
Oh, come off it. Well all be elderly one day.
Thats different.
My wife was also unhappy about Mums stomach problems and the way shed snore so loudly at night. She wouldnt let Mum into the kitchen, and eventually insisted that she just stay in her room. One evening, she said to me,
Look, I didnt think shed be here this long. I honestly cant do this anymore.
So what do you suggest? I asked.
Send her back to the village.
She cant cope on her own, I said.
Loads of people do. No ones running round after their elderly parents like this! Why should I have to feel like a guest in my own homeput up with the noises and that awful smell?
I was completely at a loss. A few days ago, I came home to find Mum dressed with her suitcase packed, sitting in the hallway.
Mum, what on earth are you doing?
Son, please take me to a care home.
But why, Mum? Why are you saying this?
I dont want you two splitting up because of me.
Mum keeps begging me, but I cant decide what to do. I know I wouldnt be able to live with myself, knowing shes there on her own. Sometimes I wonder if I should drop everything and move to the countryside with her. I just dont know what to do.
