Son, I dont want you and your wife to split up because of me! Take me to a care home.
Six months ago, I invited my mum to come and live with us. Shes quite elderly now, 83, and after my father passed away, its been difficult for her to cope alone in the countryside. My own children are grown up and have moved out, so its just been my wife and me in our two-bedroom flat. I thought taking Mum in wouldnt be an issue.
At first, my wife didnt say anything, but within a week my mums presence started to get on her nerves.
“Look,” she said, “can she eat separately, after weve finished?”
“Whys that?”
“Its just easier that way. I lose my appetite watching her chew without her teeth. Its disgusting.”
“Come on, were all going to be old one day.”
“Thats different.”
My wife also grew annoyed about Mums stomach problems, and the fact that she snores terribly at night. She ended up forbidding her to come into the kitchen, and eventually just didnt want her leaving her room at all. Then one day, she told me outright:
“Listen, I didnt think shed be living here for so long. I cant take this anymore.”
“So what are you saying?”
“Send her back to the village.”
“But she cant manage by herself!”
“Loads of people live this way. Kids dont fuss over their parents! Why should I have to feel like a stranger in my own flat, putting up with her slurping and the smell?”
I honestly didnt know what to do. Then, just recently, I came home to find my mum in the hallway, packed and ready with her suitcase.
“Mum, what are you doing here?”
“Son, please take me to a care home.”
“But why? Why would you want that?”
“I dont want you two to fall out because of me.”
Mum keeps pleading with me. But I dont know what to do. I cant live with myself knowing shes there. Maybe the best thing would be to give up everything and move to the countryside with her. I just dont know what to do.
