Six months ago my mate Mabel tied the knot, and I was there to witness the whole shindig. Not long after, I heard shed already filed for divorce. Theyd seemed a pictureperfect couple, so something must have gone pearshaped. I rang her over the weekend and we arranged to meet.
She drifted into our favourite tea shop a few minutes late, looking a bit windbreathless as if shed been sprinting. I teased her about the tardiness, but she was unusually listless. Something was definitely off Mabel is normally a topnotch raconteur.
Mabel, I wont beat around the bush. Why the split? Did he cheat, or whats the story?
No, she snapped. He didnt cheat, he didnt even lay a hand on me. Hes simply avaricious. Thats why were calling it quits.
Avaricious enough to end a marriage?
You know how it went. From day one he kept insisting we split every expense down the middle. At first I thought he meant just the wedding. Of course he couldnt foot the bill himself, so I chipped in a bit. Then he started demanding I match his contribution to the penny. My salary is three times his, yet I expected him to throw a few quid my way now and then. Instead he turned into a pennypincher, tutoring me on how to save every penny.
Every day wed sit down and tally up yesterdays spendings. He even asked to see the receipts! I assumed it was about the postwedding outlay, that he was just trying to tighten the household finances. When we organised the wedding we covered everything ourselves no help from our parents and it only got worse. He kept a special ledger where I had to record every expense and justify it.
Did he make you apply for a grocery allowance?
One time he lost his rag over a pair of shoes I bought without him. He told me henceforth I must ask permission before splurging on anything pricey and report the purchase back to him.
Why didnt you bolt earlier?
I dont know. The worst bit was our botched honeymoon plan to the Lake District. Wed booked it before the wedding, meant to be our firstyear escape. Id saved up for ages and even borrowed a few pounds from friends, trusting hed also pitch in. Then he blurted out that hed covered the main wedding costs, so I should foot the whole holiday. He accused me of being unable to save. That was nothing. Two days ago he suddenly announced hed go to the Lake District himself and would sort out the money for the trip. I nearly fainted. That evening he walked out with a suitcase. I didnt say goodbye; he was gone. I even started packing my own bags. Yesterday I filed for divorce.
I gave him my full support. No one needs a miserly husband. Its a pity she didnt see the red flags before saying I do, but its better to part ways now than languish for years. A man like that wouldnt spare his own children either.
