Reining In a Husband. A Story
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Post-hospital, Emily was feeling noticeably better, and had resolved to throw herself back into her usual routines first thing in the morning.
But when she awoke, she was surprised by a quiet, firm resistance from somewhere deep inside.
Her husband, David, was already limbering up his joints.
True to his athletic nature, even in retirement, he wouldnt miss a day of exercises to ease his aches. Every morning began with his stretching and joint routines.
Emily would usually rush to see to their cat, Molly, tidying her litter-box.
After that, shed feed Molly and their loyal little dog, Toby, then tidy up the front hall and the kitchenevidence of nocturnal mischief from their furry companions. Then shed hurry to get Toby out for his early walk.
Theyd take their long strolls later, David joining her to enjoy the quiet of the village green, but each morning, as David focused on his health, Emily would dash about, trying to beat the clock.
Returning with Toby, shed start their typical breakfasta bit of cottage cheese with honey and dried fruit, or perhaps some scones or eggs, switching things up with omelettes or poached eggs some mornings.
Emily viewed this flurry as her own way of keeping fit, but the hospital doctors had insisted she do proper exercise, rather than just household bustle.
David, once hed finished his stretches, would make the bed, all the while grumbling that it “wasnt a mans job” and muttering that most of the household chores fell to him anyway. Twice a week, hed pop on a wash in the machine, run the hoover round, sometimes commenting sourly that Emily “never managed to do things properly.”
Hed wash up after breakfast, convinced this was a grand gesture of domestic support.
After breakfast, Emily would get on with lunch preparations before settling at her computer for a few hours.
In retirement, shed taken up some part-time work, determined not to count every penny.
David found her work trivial, and any desire to buy something newpointless. Cupboards are full, Emily! hed scoff.
Emily rarely argued. She didnt fuss about clothes, especially as David always told her how lovely she looked compared to their peers, and she didnt resent it when hed buy yet another drill or a gadget, spending her daft earnings on what he fancied.
But her recent, abrupt illness turned things upside downand even she was startled by the change.
Emily had collapsed on her way to the high street and been whisked off in an ambulance.
The doctors were astonished shed managed at all, given her blood resultsthey were shocking.
Even David was shaken, seeing her pale and hooked up to a drip, when they finally let him visit. He struggled at home too, amazed at the sheer enormity of what Emily did every day.
Hed waited anxiously for his wife to be discharged; despite his grumbles, he truly loved her, and it was plain hed been worried half to death.
For the first few days, she did as the doctors ordered and rested. David doted over her, fussing and asking, So, Em, you feeling any better yet? Not quite? You dont look half as peaky as you did then.
And with a laugh, Dont get too used to lying about, love, or youll forget how to walk! Too much rest is bad for you. Time to get back to the usual, eh?
She agreedthough not completely. And this morning, for the first time, she felt no urge to leap into her normal household round.
She watched David, deep in concentration over his stretches and, perhaps for the first time, didnt see a caring husband, but a manmaybe without realising itready to relinquish another heavy load onto her shoulders.
And she felt a surge of resistance!
Emily remembered the doctors stern words, which now rang in her mind like a warning bell.
You never think about yourself, and your husbands grown accustomed to it. He thinks its all easy for you, that you dont get tired. Always smiling, never complaining, arent you? Yet you were rushed in with anaemiayour results were three times below normal. Do you want to live?
Shed been put on a drip straight away and then given five transfusions before her blood count returned to normal.
It was Emily’s first transfusion, and as she watched the fluid snake through its tube into her vein, she found herself wondering:
Here I am, filled with blood from five complete strangers. Theyve saved my life. And now, part of them is inside me. Funny thoughtwill it change me?
It seems those thoughts werent just idle worry.
Returning home, Emily realised she was no longer prepared to bend over backwards for David.
Yes, she loved him, and he, her. He wasnt all badmany men wouldnt do half what he did. But he always exaggerated the importance of his chores, while minimising hers.
She used to just let it slide, because she was soft-hearted. But something had shifted, unexpectedly.
She found herself wanting to do more for herself, to revive old interestslike playing piano, the one that gathered dust as they debated whether to give it away, or indulge in something new, still undefined.
She stood up and joined David in his exercises. Unable to keep quiet, he remarked, surprised,
Whats this, have they done your head in at the hospital, Emily? Youre taking to exercise in your old age? You look just fine as you arebetter to sort the pets and put the kettle on, surely.
The doctor told me to, Emily replied, and there was an unfamiliar firmness in her voice that caught David off guard. He said I wont last long otherwise. Unless thats what you want.
For a moment, David was taken aback by her honesty. Maybe he figured this was a passing phase, that some hospital spell had scrambled her wits. He didnt even mutter a word when, after stretching, Emily instructed,
RightI’ll feed Molly and Toby, and you take Toby for his walk. In the meantime, Ill get breakfast sorted; itll be quicker that way.
To her surprise, David complied without a fuss. It was as if a new strength, or rather five new strengths, were guiding her, encouraging her that she had every right to clear out her old clothes and buy new ones with the money shed earned.
That she could do proper exercise, become fitternot just creak alongand play music if she wished.
She counted five fresh resolutions, and with a tinge of awe, realised:
Thats rightthey gave me five transfusions, from five people. Maybe this strengththe courage for decisive actioncomes from them! They say after a heart transplant some traits, even talents, might pass on. People have woken from operations with an urge to paint or sing, having never done it before!
Now, when she looked at David, she no longer wore that old, apologetic expression. She radiated confidencenot only from the doctors words, but from the deep, stirring energy within her.
She watched her husband wrestle with the shift, as his familiar worldwhere Emily was always gentle, compliant, and easycrumbled.
You know, David, she said, her voice calm and sure, I think Ive figured out why you always reckon I do nothing. Its because you never saw. You didnt see how hard I work, how tired I get, how much I do so you can have an easy life.
But now, I think you will notice. So dont be surprised when I clear out those tatty old dresses and coatsIll buy new ones now and then. And Im going to play the piano too. You always joked that, after years of music lessons, I could only manage Chopsticks and Ode to Joy? Well, listen to this
She opened up the piano, laid her fingers on the keys, and before she knew it was playing something haunting and familiara piece she hadnt thought of in years.
David watched her, wonderstruck.
Emily, he breathed at last, how are you doing that? Youve changed. Youre not the same.
There was confusion on his face, and perhaps a little fear too.
He had been used to one Emily, and here before him was anotherfirmer, more determined. The change unnerved him.
Emily simply smiled.
It wasnt her old, apologetic smile, but something warm, expectant. She could feel five new sparks catching flame insidea new fire, promising not just survival, but a real zest for life.
A life with space for herself, for her wishes, tooand perhaps, after all, for a fonder, more balanced love for David, based on honest respect, not self-denial.
Emily didnt know who her five donors were, but she sensed they were strong and gifted indeed.
They hadnt just saved her lifetheyd made it full and truly happy.
People say, dont ask Why did this happen? when it comes to illness or setbacks.
Perhaps its more important to ask what can be learned, and to see these trials as a chance to discover anew how precious life really is.
How marvellous is spring, and winter, and even the British drizzle. Every day is a miracle: the sky, the very first and the last ray of sun.
And the smiles and support from those we loveeven their flawsbecause were all only human.
And if a grumbling husband starts to push his luck, sometimes youve got to rein him in, remind him hes a man
While we can, lets live boldly, cherish all that were givenbecause thats the only way I see fit.
