Thats it, Emily, its over between us! I want a real family, children. You cant give me that. Ive waited long enough, tried to be patient for years. I need a son. Ive already filed for divorce! You have three days to gather your things. Give me a ring when youre gone. For now, Ill be staying at my mums. Please hurry, I need to prepare the flat for my future child and their mum. Oh, and dont be surprised my future wife is expecting! Three days, thats all you have.
I sat there silently, weighed down by his words. What could I possibly say?
Children had always been out of reach for me. James had waited for five whole years, painfully patient, enduring three unsuccessful attempts during those years.
Dozens of specialists told me I was healthy. So why didnt anything ever work?
Id always done things the right way, careful with my health, my habits.
This time, it all happened so suddenly. Id felt unwell at work, theyd called an ambulance, and everything had gone downhill from there
The front door slammed. As James left, I just sat on the sofa, drained.
I had neither the will nor the strength to pack. And honestly, where would I even go with my things?
Before I married, Id lived with my aunt while at university. Shed passed away, and her son had sold the flat. My grandmothers old cottage in the countryside was an option. Or should I try and rent somewhere? What about work?
There were too many questions and too little time to answer them
Early the next morning, the door opened and in walked my mother-in-law.
Not sleeping? Good. Im here to make sure you dont take anything thats not yours.
I assure you, I dont need your sons old pants. Shall we make a list of the knickers to be sure?
My, how cheeky youve become! You used to be so polite and quiet. Just as I told James after the first failed attempt youre not cut out to have children.
You came just to tell me this? If so, please sit there quietly and watch me.
Where are you packing that tea set?
Its mine. Came from my aunt, its a keepsake.
Well, itll be lonely in this house without it!
Thats not my concern anymore. At least youll have a grandson soon.
Just take what belongs to you! Nothing more.
The laptop is mine. So are the coffee machine and the microwave all gifts from my colleagues. My car was bought before the wedding. Your son has his own.
You have everything but children. You simply cant give us that!
Thats none of your business anymore. Im fine, perhaps its just how God has planned things.
You dont even seem upset! Maybe you even sabotaged things on purpose?
Thats nonsense. I can barely think about it without crying.
I looked around the flat hardly any of my things left. Hairbrush, makeup, slippers
I felt as if Id forgotten something important. The mother-in-laws presence wasnt helping me focus.
Then I remembered the old cat figurine was missing. It had a secret inside Id never even told James about: a little set of earrings and a ring, nothing of value but precious as memories from my grandmother. James had always called it junk. Had he thrown it away? He used to dump anything unwanted on the balcony. I went to check
And what are you doing out there? Just gather your things and leave! Saying goodbye to the flat? Go on, get it out of your system, you wont have anything like it again!
Thankfully, I found the cat figurine, and the jewellery was still inside. Now I could go.
Here are the keys. Goodbye. Lets hope we never cross paths again.
I stopped by the office, still technically on sick leave, but I asked to convert it to annual leave.
Were all really sorry, but how will we cope without you? Three weeks will that do? Just stay in touch for questions. Without your advice, half our projects would stall.
Thatll be fine, thanks. I could use the distraction.
Need any help?
No, Ill manage.
Ill sort the leave pay and bonuses.
Thank you I could do with that right now.
I didnt bother with hunting for a rental. I just drove to the village. It wasnt as if anyone there was waiting for me. My grandmother had been gone for three years and my mum, well, I never even got to meet her. Shed died giving birth to me.
And now, I cant have children either
After an hours drive, I was home. The old apple tree still stood, tulips in bloom.
The last time James and I had been here was in autumn wed had a barbecue, enjoying the countryside together.
I parked in the yard, found the garage key where Id left it in the house.
Opening the door, I stepped into silence. Odd, the kitchen table was littered with dirty cups and plates. Why didnt I deal with that last time?
No, I remember cleaning up. Someone else had been here.
Two mugs, two plates, empty juice cartons, and his favourite sparkling wine bottles. Certainly not from autumn.
It must have been James. But who was with him?
Did it even matter anymore?
Only I had a key. Unless James got a copy. Time to change the locks.
A new start: cleaning, then a deep, hot bath.
I wanted to wash away all the mess and the past.
When I finally got out, someone knocked on the door, then on the window.
Whos there?
Everything all right in there?
Yes I replied, puzzled.
Sorry to bother you.
I stepped outside. A man Id never seen stood on the path.
Sorry if I scared you. Im your neighbour for now. I noticed smoke coming from your chimney, then you disappeared for a bit, so I wanted to check you were all right
Thank you, Im fine.
Are you related to James? He was here recently with a woman. Are you his sister?
No, Im his ex. Well, nearly ex its all going through.
The house yours?
Yes, its mine.
Im just here for a bit due to family stuff. A friend let me stay nearby. Im also going through a divorce from tomorrow, Ill be free. Anyway, if you need help, just ask. Call me Ben.
Im Emily. Would you know how to change a lock?
Absolutely. Tell me when you want it done, and Ill sort it.
As soon as possible. Ill get one tomorrow.
No need, Ill pick up the right one. I need to go into town anyway.
Thank you.
Two weeks passed. With only a week of leave left, it was almost time to return to London. Id settled in and had no wish to look for somewhere else. James hadnt called, hadnt written. The only message I got was the official divorce date. Probably for the best. I didnt want to see him.
It was a Saturday. As usual, I was up early. That morning, Ben had invited me for a walk by the lake.
I hadnt planned on any new relationships, but a walk wasnt a commitment. We had a lovely time, came back for lunch. As we neared the house, Jamess car was parked outside. He must have just arrived. His door opened; he stepped out, then helped a pregnant woman out.
Ben and I reached the garden gate. James was fumbling with the door, but obviously the key didnt work anymore.
Whats going on here?
Why are you trying to break into someones house?
James froze, surprised.
This is our house! the pregnant woman exclaimed.
Oh really? Is that what James told you? Its my house, so please leave.
James, whats she going on about? Who is this? Your ex? Throw her out! the woman shrieked.
Ben and I found it amusing. James just helped her back into the car and they drove off.
Should be fun for him, Ben grinned.
Well, shell give him a child. I couldnt. Three failed attempts. Sorry.
Dont be. My marriage ended because my wife didnt want children at all
Four years on from the divorce. I bumped into my former mother-in-law at the supermarket, by chance.
Emily? I barely recognised you. Ive been watching from a distance for a while. Is it really you? Are youpregnant?
Yes, I replied, brushing my hands over my bump.
Things arent going well for James. The grandson was born weak, some issue on his side. His wife left up and ran, the poor babys with us. And you? Youre having a child on your own?
No, not alone. I have a family. I should go, theyre waiting for me.
Oh, I see Im sorry for everything
Patience to you.
Ben met me at the door, gently supporting me with one hand while our small daughter ran up to grab the other, her face a sweet, familiar echo of my own.
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