The Price of Deceit: How One Woman Chose to Preserve Her Family —
I decided to write this story after repeatedly coming across accounts of women online who resorted to deception to keep their families intact. These were tales where a wife, unable to conceive with her husband, secretly had a child with another man, sometimes with her husband’s knowledge, but often without it. The husband believed the child was biologically his, while the wife remained silent in the name of “love” and “happiness.”
Reading these stories fills me with pain and outrage. Yes, life is complicated. At times, fate cruelly robs us of the opportunity to create life. But deceit—especially such a foundational one—destroys not only families but the very souls of everyone involved.
I speak from experience. For nine long years, I battled infertility. Nine years filled with injections, examinations, tears, hope, and disappointment. My husband and I wanted a child more than anything. I witnessed how each failed cycle tore him apart inside, though he tried to stay strong for my sake. And every time someone close suggested I secretly find a donor—”You’re a woman; your biological clock is ticking”—it boiled my blood. I looked at my husband and knew: no. I wouldn’t betray him. I would not lie. Not even for the most sacred cause—motherhood.
Once, a “friend” told me, “Why torture yourself? Get pregnant by someone else, and that’s that. He won’t know. The main thing is the blood type matches.” But what if, I replied, there’s an accident? A tragedy? A disease? A need for blood transfusion? What if a transplant is required, and the truth comes out? What then?
I’d rather never have children than be deceitful. But life offered us another path. My husband and I adopted a little girl named Daisy. I’ve never once regretted it. She is our daughter. Not by blood, but by love and heart.
And here’s a story that still haunts me. Our old acquaintances seemed the perfect family. They had twins. He was kind, caring, hardworking. She was beautiful, charming. People looked at them with envy. But truth, as it often does, couldn’t stay hidden for long.
One day, the husband was diagnosed with congenital infertility. He was stunned. Further tests confirmed it. There were only two possibilities: either the children weren’t his, or a medical miracle had occurred. Sadly, there were no miracles.
He was devastated. He didn’t cause a scene or break things—he simply packed his belongings, left the house, the kids, everything… and moved to another country. Word has it he now works in London. He never saw his wife again. And the children? They discovered the truth. They couldn’t forgive. They moved in with their grandparents—his parents. The mother remained alone in a house that once echoed with children’s laughter.
The worst part? The children had no desire to return. They grew up and left to study in another city, severing ties with her. Sometimes I hear about her from mutual acquaintances. She still lives alone. Occasionally, she is seen near the shop—eyes dulled, shoulders hunched. Silent. Even with those she once called friends.
I share this not out of spite. I am a woman myself. I know the ache of not being able to bear a child. Of feeling empty each time you see other people’s children. But dear readers, deceit isn’t a remedy. It’s a poison that slowly but surely destroys everything it touches.
Medicine has come a long way. There’s in vitro fertilization, IVF, donor options—transparent and honest. There’s adoption. There are ways to find happiness without wrecking others’ lives.
I’ve lived through this pain. I’ve faced it truthfully. And now, when my Daisy calls me “mummy,” when she snuggles up to me as she sleeps, I know—I did everything right. My conscience is clear. And by my side is my husband, who never lost his trust in me.
Dear women, if you are faced with such a choice, please don’t lie. Don’t betray the one who loves you. Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie that will eventually ruin everything. And most importantly, don’t justify betrayal with love. True love doesn’t breed deceit. True love is honesty, even when it hurts.
Let this story serve as a warning. Avoid making the same mistakes others have. If life has taken away motherhood from you, it surely will gift you something else. The key is to keep your soul intact.
