12th March
I asked Mrs. Barker, my elderly neighbour, how long it had been since her son last spoke to her. Her answer shattered me.
Its been over six years since I last set eyes on him, she began quietly. After he moved away with his wife, hed call every so often at first. But that fizzled out. One year, I bought him a cake for his birthday and went to see him. At that, she looked away, her voice breaking as tears rolled down her cheeks.
What happened then? I asked gently.
My daughter-in-law answered the door. She told me, quite plainly, that I wasnt welcome in their home. My son stood behind her, said nothing in my defencejust stared at me as though I were some sort of burden and then averted his eyes. That was the last time I saw him.
Hes never called since? I could hardly believe it.
Just once, I phoned him. Id decided to sell my three-bedroom house and buy a smaller flat. Of course, I gave him some of the money. He turned up, signed the paperwork, took the money, andjust like thatnever called again.
Dont you get terribly lonely? I asked. Or have you adjusted to life on your own?
She gave a small, wry smile. I manage all right. I had to be strongmy husband left us when my boy was very young, ran off with another woman. I raised him single-handed. He grew up surrounded by love and care. Later, he told me he wanted his own place. At first, it made me proud. I thought he was growing up, ready to make a life for himself.
But it was his girlfriends doing, really. She wanted the two of them to have a place of their own, somewhere they could have their fun without anyone else butting in. Then she fell pregnant.
I hesitated and then said, Do you really find it so easy to talk about? Doesnt it hurt you, that your son abandoned you like this?
She shrugged softly. You get used to things. I like my new flat, truth be told. I have enough moneyenough for everything I need. Each morning, I put the kettle on and go out onto the balcony with my cup of tea, looking out over the rooftops as the city wakes up. When I was younger, I worked long hours, dreaming of nothing but a good nights sleep. I used to imagine that one day, Id grow old surrounded by loved ones. But I suppose I was meant for something differentsolitude.
Why not get a pet? I suggested. Its always cosier with something furry about.
She shook her head. You know, dear, even cats can wander off and leave their owners. And I couldnt possibly take in a dog. I never know if Ill wake up the next morning, and I couldnt bear the thought of leaving a creature uncared for. I made enough mistakes beforeone learns, eventually.
She did her best to remain composed, but at last she let her guard slip, breaking down in tears.
I wrote this to remind myself and anyone who reads it: never abandon your parents. You are part of themwhen they fade away, so does a piece of you.
