The second child is a husband.
No, she isnt a wife shes the housekeeper, the cook Dont be distracted.
At a gathering he mentioned Emily actually, her husband.
Not a wife? A cook? Thats a twist!
Emilys face went pale.
Even the friends didnt know Emily. The men turned, eyes sharp, to see who had broken their quiet. They sat like ministers at a cabinet meeting, all importance and pretence. What sort of friends were these, whom a wife never heard of?
James, flipping his chair back, sprang up and lunged toward Emily, trying to whisk her away from his mates gaze. His smug companions exchanged shocked looks. A murmur rippled: Why is he hurrying to the housekeeper?” They snorted, halfsmiling.
Only the tall man in the farthest seat remained indifferent.
Housekeeper? Emily whispered behind the closed doors. Cook?
Its absurd to picture you, in those threadbare jeans, as a wife, James said, as if Emily should already understand. We have respectable gentlemen here.
Just ordinary jeans.
The frayed threads were there, but they didnt catch the eye.
For a workhorse theyre fine, but a successful businessmans wife cant trudge around like a beggar!
A successful businessman? Did you just make that up? Where did you get them?
I was at the snooker club on Camden Road today and beat the lotfive of them! They were impressed with my skill and invited me for a strong drink. I asked about work. They said they could fund my carshowroom project. Investors!
All your investors are just playing dominoes behind garages.
Today Emily realised how her husband saw her: as service. Not a cook, but the one who kept the family afloatfinancially. She brought in the money, then vanished like a mouse under a baseboard.
She muttered about dominoes.
If you dont believe in your husband, why then rage that he doesnt believe in himself or work? How can you build a career when your own wife underestimates you?
They had arranged for James to take her suits to the dry cleaners. Emily favoured classic tailoring for meetings, but on ordinary days she wore those ragged jeans.
Did you take the suits?
No! When was I supposed to? I was trying to win over investors
Where? At the snooker club?
What, I cant even relax?
When I handled all the finances, you took on the home.
But I told you I needed time for hobbies and selffulfilment.
You have plenty of that! Theres no time for the house. I pay for cleaning, eat wherever. At night you order sushi or pizza! Wheres the domestic life you dreamed of when you moved in? At the snooker hall you dreamed of playing from dawn till night!
Lower your voice, love, he covered her mouth, if my investors hear us theyll think the business isnt profitable.
Theyll never see profit, because tomorrow those investors will wake up and forget your name.
Emily envied her colleagues who went to work to break the monotony of housewifery, earning their own cash. They didnt stay late, didnt bring paperwork home to tally figures through sleepless nights. Cuts were looming, yet they sipped tea and gossiped as usual. Even if they were downsized, husbands at home earned a pound more than many wives, so losing a job wasnt terrifying.
Emily fled the prospect of redundancy like a flame. She worked harder, faster, her output the highest, yet it gave no relief.
James snapped irritably, You, my dear, are a negotiation novice. Go on laughing with your new pals about the careless cook who mixed everything up and never fetched his suits.
Emily stayed silent.
If she spoke, James would bring up divorce again.
And they were only just beginning to think about a child
Emily and James lived in a newbuild flat. The foyer spanned three apartments, not the cramped hallway of old council blocks, but a spacious lounge with a visitors chair and a balcony that led to the communal roof. Emily stepped onto that balcony.
I also had a wife, a voice rang from above.
Emily shrieked. James and his guests were too loud to hear her, so no one came up.
The tall investor who hadnt smiled at the housekeepers situation loomed over her.
Do you hear voices? You think were having a lively debate? Emily snapped, anger flaring at his arrogance. Whats with the wife remark when I never spoke to you? Im not interested in who you were with.
He was unfazed.
I also had a wife.
Do you mean?
She was a housewife, didnt work, we had no children. I often ordered cleaning for her. The difference? She greeted me with joy.
Im not a housewife.
No, Im not talking about you. Im talking about the man you mistakenly called a husband. In my family I earned money, built a business, while my wife tended the home and her hobbies. I never blamed her. I was on cloud nine, able to give her a life where she never wondered where the next loaf would come from. But if my beloved had called me a servant and embarrassed me with friends, shed have become my ex in an instantnot on paper, but in my heart. You can forgive many things, but not the contempt of the one youd die for. My wife loved me.
What then broke you apart, if you loved each other so?
A tipsy pawnshop dealer, found by James in the snooker club, chimed in.
Emilys thoughts of divorce didnt stir. She understood: you must walk anothers shoes to see the path, James slurred drunkenly. Divorce? They were only dreaming of a child, and Emily, at thirtyseven, still hoped for a father figure.
The cancer. It tore us apart.
Pardon?
Everythings fine, Tessa. Never let anyone disrespect you, even a husband. Where theres no respect, theres no love.
A family therapist, are you?
No, Im a software developer.
What did you lose in this merry band of investors and the man trying to swindle them?
Im not poor; I could invest myself, but I walked with them for companionship. Home feels empty, desolate. When Im not working I wander. If Id known youd come, I wouldnt have let you in, wouldnt have let them see you. Still, I dont regret meeting you. Youre charming.
You never introduced yourself.
Ivan, he said, and with a swift gesture silenced the raucous crowd, sending them home.
Emily was right. The next morning, when James called his socalled investor pals, they couldnt even recall his name or what theyd drunk the night before.
No trace of remorse.
James merely pretended to chase business dreams. He needed nothing. Working for someone else wasnt his aim; he was an entrepreneur, but his façade was just thata façade, no real venture.
Didnt they answer? Theyll chase me later.
James, what about my maternity leave?
Excuse me?
If I go on leave, what will we live on?
Youll only be on leave for a month before the birth and three months after. After that a nanny will manage.
You said okay when I offered to either support the family or stay with the child.
But I said okay, not I promise. Where does the child go? Im not a nanny. Youre the mother. Sort it out.
So youll find a job then?
Well see
Any answers besides well see?
Emma! Youve ruined my appetite this morning! Dont dump the child on me. Itll happen. Tomorrow we start working on it.
They tried.
Emily was pregnant. She planned to find a nanny and work parttime during leave, but then her firm announced bankruptcy.
The companys going under! Anna told her.
What does that mean?
It means in a month well all be out of a job.
But Im pregnant You cant fire a pregnant employee.
If the firm collapses, how can you stay employed?
Emily fell into a hollow. She ate nothing, avoided people, until a flicker of hope roseperhaps James would finally become the man of the house.
James looked at her skeptically.
If I go back to work, the money will be laughably small, far less than what you earned. Ive got a huge employment gap, my skills are rusty, my qualifications are weak. I cant take that responsibility.
But I need time to find a job, and there isnt much left In a few months the baby will be visible.
How many weeks now?
Ten.
Ten, right. We still have time.
What do you mean?
On a tightrope! Dont think about having a baby now. My mothers terrified of your recklessness. You cant go on leave when you have so much on your plate. I have to feed myself. I cant work. Our parents expect us to help with the fence and the bills. They wont hand us anything for free. Mum says theres no talk of a child now. She doesnt even know you wont take maternity leave and will be unemployed. No, no, love, that number wont work.
But you also said its time to become parents.
Thats because you twisted my head around this child. When its born, itll hog the blanket. Should I become a pauper because all our last money goes to a baby? Its an unbearable burden. Be sensible, hurry, meet the deadline, or well drown in woes.
Emily trudged to collect her things.
Her boss, who had warned her of the bankruptcy, was also packing up.
Did he send you to a break?
Yes.
What did he say?
That we cant make it.
Cant you manage two kids?
I dont know about the job, I need to find something fast to qualify for maternity pay Or do as James wants. If I decide to have the baby, hell file for divorce. Hell leave me. How do I survive without work and a child without a husband?
Without a husband who earns? Your logics gone off track. With a child and a husband who doesnt work, youll survive on benefits. With a child and a husband who does work, itll be easier, right?
Well, he doesnt work now, but if
Svetlana: If what?
Nothing.
The disaster had already struck. Emily was pregnant and faced redundancy. Yet James still refused to look for work.
She could not lie about her pregnancy if asked, but she hoped they wouldnt ask. Determined, she marched home, sent out résumés, and waited to see what would come.
Hello, housewives! the tall man joked.
Was he from her building?
Im not a housewife.
James claimed otherwise. Youre now unemployed.
Were you at our flat?
I didnt get there. I was heading up, but ran into James on the landing. He was moving his, I hope, only his own things. He seems to be filing for divorce.
Clearly James was fleeing a sinking ship.
Determination fled.
Unemployed and abandoned, Emily said.
Ill find you work, if you want.
Did James ever admit I was pregnant?
He did, first in panic, then later calmly. But how will that affect your professional skills? Ive heard you work tirelessly. I think youd fit a tidy position. Ill put in a word for you. Emily, Ive always wanted a child. My wife never bore one I cant do anything for her, but perhaps I can for you. Come tomorrow to my friends firm. Ill be there too, so you wont feel out of place. I hope this isnt our last meeting.
And I hope the same.
***
Emily gave birth to a daughter, then a son, then another son. The first daughter was technically a stepchild, but Ian never drew a line between them. He never reminded Emily of the difference.
Ian, however, never stopped reminding James that Emily had slipped away, that shed vanished from his life. All for the sake of Ian, who was now wealthier
