UNWANTED MUM
“James, sit down! We need to talknow!” My wife, Emily, sat at the kitchen table, her face set with resolve.
I took a seat beside her. Emily dabbed her eyes with a tissue, clearly having already been crying.
“I just dont know what to do about my mum. She can hardly get around these days. She wont survive another winter out in that old cottageit’s practically falling down already.”
“And what are you suggesting?” I asked.
“I told you, I dont know.”
“Emily, you always want me to make the decisions, but shes your mum. Its your call.”
“James, there’s no way we can take her in. Weve only got a two-bedroom flat, and the boys arent little anymore. Where would we put Mum?” It was obvious shed reached some sort of decision and was just trying to find the right words for me. “There is a private care home in town, you know.”
“Emily, are you really thinking about putting your mum in a care home?”
“Weve no other option. People say its all right there.”
“But, like you said, its privatehow much?”
“Seventy pounds a day. It comes to about two thousand a month if you pay up front. Shell get proper care, medical attention and all that. For us, its a lot of money, but we can manage, somehow.”
“Emily, it just feels a bit heartless. Your mum always brought us home-made jam, pickled onions, treats for the boys. She did it all out of love, and now were sending her off to a home.”
“You think my heart isnt breaking? But we have no other choice.”
Heaving a heavy sigh, I asked, “Is there really nothing else?”
“I thought about selling her cottage. Mum signed it over to me, but no ones going to buy it with winter coming on. And its ready to fall downno one will pay much for it.”
“Have you talked to your mum about this yet?”
“Not yet. Well go see her on Saturdayclear the garden together, and maybe talk then.”
“Ill sort the garden with the lads,” I said, shaking my head. “But you handle the care home bit.”
“James, Mum will be there just till spring. If it doesnt work out, well think of something else.”
“No, Emily, if she goes there, itll be for good. Just feels wrong.”
***
Its been a week since Margaret, my mother-in-law, went into the care home. She understood Emily didnt have much of a choiceafter all, she was barely mobile now, at nearly eighty. Living alone in that ramshackle cottage was out of the question.
But this wasnt how shed imagined growing old. She always pictured spending her last years among family, but now, who wants a frail, ailing mum?
A nurse came in. “Mrs. Parker, your grandchildren are here.”
A smile broke across Margarets face as the boys walked in. Even the younger, Ben, was taller than her now, and Tom was practically a head above.
“Hello, Gran! Are you all right here?”
“Im fine, love. The foods good and the nurses look after us,” she said, bustling about as she always did. “Come, sit at the table!”
“We cant stay long. We brought you groceries and some warm clothes,” Tom said.
“Thank you! Hows school?”
“Fine,” they answered in unison.
“Keep at it! Tom, its your final year have you decided whats next?”
“Im thinking of the university down the road.”
“Where are Mum and Dad? They sent you, but didnt come themselves?”
“Dad went to the cottage to get things sorted.”
“Oh, tell him to pull up all the carrotsit’s getting cold and they’ll spoil. And the cabbages are ready, too.”
“Ill call him now!”
Ben pulled out his phone and rang his dad. “Dad, Gran says get the carrots up and cut the cabbages, too.”
“Ill do it,” came my reply.
“Let me,” said Gran, taking the phone from Ben. “James, dont put the carrots straight in the cellarlet them dry out for three days, then you can store them. Put the cabbages in, stumps and all, root down in the sandtheres some in the left compartment. Store the carrotsthe big onesin the other one, take the small ones for yourself.”
“Got it, Mum, got it. Dont worry!”
“And James, look for my cat, Tillyshes out on her own and must be hungry.”
“Ill feed her, dont worry.”
Margaret handed the phone back.
“Gran, weve got to go now, all right?” Tom stood up.
“Wait, wait!” She dug in her purse. “Heres twenty pounds eachget yourselves something nice.”
“Gran, you keep it”
“No, you take it. Ive no use for money here.”
“Thanks, Gran!”
They left, and Margaret wandered over to the window, gazing after her grandsons as they walked away.
***
I parked my old Vauxhall outside our block of flats. Next to me, Alan from the end flat parked his Focus. Spotting the bags of carrots and cabbages in my arms, he nodded.
“Been out to the allotment?”
“Something like thatmy mother-in-laws.”
“My wife and I have been thinking about a small cottage somewhere, now the kids are grown and off.”
“Alan,” I said thoughtfully, “youve got a four-bedroom flat, havent you?”
“Yeah, on the second floor.”
“How about swapping it for our two-bed, also second floor? And Ill throw in the cottage and garden for good measure. The old lady cant look after it anymore.”
He scratched his head. “Thats interesting. Ill have to take a look.”
“Talk it over with your wife. Pop round this evening for a cuppa and a chat.”
“I will do.”
***
After washing up and eating, I crashed out for a nap. Emily headed to the kitchen to prepare teasoon the boys would be back: Ben from footie practice, Tom well, Tom had fallen in love.
“About time, hes seventeen. Just hope he keeps out of trouble. Bens always out; cant get him home for love nor money…”
There was a knock at the door. Emily, hands still damp, hurried to answer. It was Alan and his wife at the door.
“Emily, we thought wed pop in!”
“Come in! Sarah, is everything all right?”
“Didnt your James tell you?”
“No” Emily looked surprised.
“The men want to swap our flat with yours.”
“Really, Sarah?” Emily hesitated, then ushered them in. “Please, sit down, make yourselves at home!”
She rushed to the living room, shook me awake.
“James, get upweve guests!”
I shot up and scurried to the bathroom.
“Ill be right out!”
Meanwhile, Sarah surveyed the flat with care.
“So, are you going to tell me whats going on?”
“Emily, our husbands want to swap our four-bed for your flat and your mums cottage,” Sarah said, glancing around. “Its lovely here.”
I came back in and Emily immediately cornered me.
“Whats all this about?”
“If we can sort it, well move into their four-bed, and we can have your mum live with us.”
Emily paused, a mysterious smile flickering across her face.
“Well! Shall we have some tea, then go see your place?” she said, warming to the idea.
“Tea, Liddy? Forget thatput something stronger out for tonight,” I joked.
***
That night, Emily and I lay awake for ages, chatting and picturing what our new, spacious flat might be like. Mainly, it was Emily chattinguntil I began drifting off.
“What, already asleep?” She nudged me.
“Emily, dont tell your mum anything yet. No point getting her hopes up. When were settled, then well bring her over.”
***
That rainy autumn morning, Margaret peered glumly out of her window at the care home. Her thoughts matched the dreary weather.
“Ive been here three weeks. Looks like the kids have forgotten me. Im just an unwanted mum. The boys visited once and havent been back. Emily called twice. Once she said shed sold or swapped my housesounded so happy. At least theyll pay for this place now, seventy pounds a day is no small sum. Its not like Ive got anywhere to go back to. Last time she said theyre so busy at home, maybe theyll come when things let up. Young people are always busy. Maybe theyll visit todayits Saturday. Wish Id learned to use a mobile, but its too late for that.”
She sat thinking gloomy thoughts for another hour or two. Suddenly a car stopped outside the gatesit was my car.
“Theyve come! Not forgotten me,” she thought, but her hope faded a little; “But whys James come alone, without the kids or any bags? Has something happened?”
Margaret stared at the door, barely daring to blink. It finally opened and I walked in, smiling.
“Hello, Mum!”
“James! Is something wrong?”
“Pack your things! Youre coming home.”
“Home? For a visit?”
“No, for good. Get all your things ready.”
“Youre being mysterious again.”
“Your grandsons wanted it to be a surprise.”
Margaret became flustered, sensing a sudden shift in fate. Her roommate, Doris, came in just then from her check-up.
“Where are you off to, Margaret?”
“Doris, my son-in-law is taking me homehe says it’s for good!” Margaret beamed.
“Lucky you! Looks like Im stuck here forever,” Doris sighed.
“Youll see, Doris, someone will come for you too. Its hard for our kids, sometimes.”
***
Staring out the car window on the way back, Margarets thoughts whirled anxiously.
“Why has James taken me out of the home? Their flats so smallwhere will they put me? Ill just be in the way, keeping them up at night. Ill only end up back at the care home”
We pulled up outside our usual spot, but instead of heading into our building, I led her to the next entrance. Margaret gave me a puzzled look.
“Go on, in you go!”
We climbed to the second floor and headed for one of the flats. The door opened and Ben and Tom rushed out.
“Gran, welcome! This is our new place,” Ben declared with pride.
Margaret stepped inside, where Emily greeted her with a hug.
“Mum, this is your new home now. Come on, Ill show you your room.”
The bedroom may have been small, but it was cozy, with a new bed and wardrobe. Margaret could hardly believe shed be living so close to her daughter, son-in-law, and grandsons.
Just then, something soft rubbed against her leg and began to purr.
“Tilly!” Margaret cried out in delight, tears streaming down her cheeksnot from sorrow this time, but happiness.
***
Reflecting tonight, as I jot this down, I understand that family isnt about convenience or comfortits about kindness, and standing by each other when it matters most. Ive learned that the love we show, especially to those who raised us, is never wastedand in the end, its what makes a house a home.
