No Wedding After All
Lillian stepped into the bedroom and stopped dead in the doorway. Before her, dressed in an exquisite wedding gown, was Racheland she looked absolutely stunning. The dress fit her as though tailored by angels, and her eyes shone with the quiet radiance of someone on the cusp of true happiness. Lillian couldnt help herself:
My word, youre glowing! she gasped, unable to tear her eyes away. Im so thrilled for you! At last, youve closed that old chapter and made space for something wonderfullets just forget about Nicholas! You, my dear, are nothing short of remarkable!
Rachels smile vanished as if someone had switched off a light, and she fiddled uneasily with the back of her dress, her gaze sliding away from Lillian.
Id better take this off, she mumbled, deftly unhooking the tiny clasps at her side. Still two weeks to go until the big day. If anything happens to this dress, itll be impossible to replace!
Lillian bit her lip. Brilliant, she thoughtwhy bring up Nicholas now, when Rachel finally had a real chance at happiness with a decent chap? The past was best left in a musty box in the attic, alongside those tragic letters and dried rose petals.
Once upon a time, Rachel was convinced Nicholas was The One. Shed planned a lifetime with him, down to the compost bin and the family hamster. But soon, the cracks started to show. He distanced himself, gave odd excuses for not meeting, and eventually started criticizing her friends, her career, her dreams. He persuaded her to quit a promising research role, talked her out of a coveted secondment in Canada, and eventually badgered her into changing jobs entirely.
Rachels parents watched on in despair as their daughter slowly lost herself. Attempts to intervene ended in thunderous rowsNicholas insisted they simply didnt like him and were trying to destroy their perfect love. The conflict grew, and before long, Rachel had virtually stopped speaking to her family.
Then one day, Nicholas disappeared. No farewell note, not even a cryptic text. Just goneleaving behind a gaping wound and a baby boy Rachel decided to keep, come hell or high water.
Now, as her friend hurriedly peeled out of the wedding dress, Lillian was awash with guilt. She just wanted to bask in Rachels happiness, not prod raw wounds.
Little Nicholas Junior was now fourbright as a button and determined to interrogate everyone about rainbows, wheelie bins, cloud physics, and the inner lives of ladybirds. Nursery staff always remarked on his curiosity: he picked up new words in a flash, could recite poems on demand, and listened to stories as though they were Olympic broadcasts.
Most days, Nicholas Junior stayed with his grandparentsRachels parentswho gladly took him under their wing. They chose a nursery with Early English Enrichment, took him swimming, and enrolled him in ballet. Rachel, in turn, popped by a couple of times a week, though never stayed longone hour, max.
There was a reason, and it wasnt pretty. Nicholas Junior bore an uncanny resemblance to his father: same curly hair, the same mischievous eyes, same lopsided grin. Every time Rachel looked at him, she was whisked back into the past. She loved her son, of course, delighted in his achievements, cherished every giggle. But heartbreak tagged along like an untrained puppy. When she held him or met his unwavering gaze, tears would prick her lashes. Shed turn away, pretend she was fixing her cardigan or rummaging in her bag, and later, shed cry where no one could see.
One evening, Rachel fetched Nicholas from her parents house. He sat on the carpet, constructing a puzzle, brow furrowed in concentration. Seeing his mum, the boy beamed and leapt up.
Mum, look! he cried, tugging her over. Its nearly finished! There’s a house, a tree, and over heretherell be a dog!
Rachel knelt, manufacturing a smile. Its wonderful, she said, gently stroking his hair. Youve done a cracking job.
Nicholas paused, then looked up at her, all seriousness and science.
Mum, wheres my dad? All the kids at nursery have dads. Except me.
Rachel froze, her innards knotting. She rallied her voice, aiming for calm. I dont know, love. Hes far away now. But he thinks about you, Im sure.
Why doesnt he ring? Nicholass brow furrowed. I could tell him Ive learned to tie my own shoelaces!
He… hes just very busy right now, Rachel stammered, a lump in her throat. But I know hes proud of you.
Nicholas mulled that over, then noddeddecision madeand went back to his puzzle. Alright. Ill finish this house and Dad will see how clever I am!
Rachel sat beside him, wordless, blinking back tears. She wanted to offer real comfort, but words deserted her. So, she gently stroked his hair, inhaling the scent of childrens shampoo, trying desperately to trap this momenther boy, near and happy, still innocent to the answers she couldnt give.
Still, Rachel couldnt stop thinking about Nicholas Senior. Deep down, she clung to hope: perhaps hed suffered some disaster, perhaps he was trapped somewhere, unable to get in touch. These thoughts were her emotional lifeboat.
Loved ones attempted the straight-talking approach. Her mum offered gentle hints about letting go, focusing on her son, forging a new life. Friends were more blunt: He left. Accept it and move on! But Rachel refused to listen, defending him with reminiscences and impossible promises. Debates usually left her sullen, and her friends resigned.
Not that Rachel gave up hope. She scoured social media, checked old haunts, even posted public appeals. All led nowherebut she couldnt (or wouldnt) accept Nicholas had left of his own accord and wasnt coming back.
Then, after five long years, someone appeared who managed to thaw her hearta nearly accidental meeting at a birthday party. Edward stood out. He was, well, solid. A proper grown-up. Genuine, kind, practicaleverything anyone could ask for.
From the start, Rachel felt at ease with him. Edward didnt expect her to be relentlessly upbeat or to sport a grin at all times. If she was tired, hed suggest heading home. If she was quiet, hed simply sit with her in comfortable silence. Edward was exactly the sort of man she thought shed never findsteady, mature, sincerely in love.
He proved his sincerity with the little things: learning her favourite coffee order, remembering her colleagues names, gamely resolving household snafus. He spoilt her shamelessly, and Rachellets be honestmade the most of it.
What touched her most was how Edward bonded with Nicholas Junior. During their first meeting, the lad eyed him warily, clutching Rachels hand. But Edward knelt, meeting him at eye level, and asked which cartoons he liked. Half an hour later, they were knee-deep in Lego, with Nicholas enthusiastically showcasing his prized toys.
Soon, Edward became a regular at her parents house. Hed take Nicholas to the park, patiently teach him to ride a bike, read him stories before bed. One evening, Rachel found them drawing together; Edward looked up and said quietly, Id like to be his dad, if youll let me. If you want, Ill adopt Nicholas.
Lillian was genuinely thrilled for her friend. She saw Rachels spark returningthe anxious shadow erased, replaced with true smiles. But today, Lillian had blunderedmentioning Nicholas Senior and reopening old wounds. She could only hope Rachel wouldnt let it poison her mood.
But Rachel surprised her. Ive grown up, she said softly, carefully laying her dress on the bed. I realise now that my feelings for Nicholas belong in the past. Sometimes I regret naming my son after himbit daft, really! Shouldve listened to everyone else for once. How you all put up with me, Ill never know.
Lillian reached for her hand, gentle. Are you planning to bring Nicholas home from your parents place?
Yes, Rachel replied, now serious. Edwards especially keen. He even suggests we change Nicholass nameit might help me move forward. Either way, well need a new birth certificate once the adoptions sorted.
She paused, watching raindrops race each other down the windowpane.
I used to worry Nicholas Junior would always be a painful reminder. But I was wrong. Hes my son. He deserves a proper childhood, with two loving parents. Grandparents are wonderful, but they arent a mum and dad. Edward gets thathes so devoted to the boy!
Thats a great idea! Lillian brightened. Let your son pick his own name. That way, itll be seamless.
Maybe. I havent decided yet, theres still time to think.
But Rachel was being a tad dishonest. Truth be told, she still loved Nicholas Senior, though the love had brought nothing but trouble. Her parents had started limiting access to her son, as each visit ended in tears and bewildered toddler distress. Friends didnt want to hear another word about itbehind her back, they debated her sanity. It was high time to leave the past behind and look to the present.
The upcoming wedding, for examplewhich, it must be said, was proving a right palaver.
Edward was, without doubt, a good man. But… he wasn’t Nicholas. Rachel didnt feel anything deepshe relied on his affection for comfort, more than anything.
If Nicholas returned she would trade everything just for a chance to be with him…
*****************************
There wont be a wedding! Rachel announced, eyes bright and almost skipping with excitement. Were parting ways, ships passing in the night!
Edward stared, baffled. The wedding was a week awayguest list finalised, menu agreed, flowers ordered. It all felt so concreteand now, no wedding?
What do you mean, there wont be a wedding? Edward asked, unsure whether Rachel was being serious or just having a very poor attempt at a joke. Rachel, whats happened? Please, speak plainly.
But Rachel waved off his questions, buzzing around the room, tossing items into an open suitcase. Her eyes sparkled; her smile, rare these days, was genuine.
Nicholas is back! she blurted, barely sparing Edward a glance. The giddy delight in her voice made his chest go hollow. He came back yesterdaywe talked it all out I could hardly believe it myself!
She finally paused, facing him, and all he saw was excitementno regret, not a hint of it.
Ill always be grateful for the last six months, she continued, her tone softening. Being with you was calm, safe Youre a wonderful man, Edward. But I was never truly in love with you. Now that I have a shot at real happiness, I cant ignore it.
Edward felt cold emptiness spreading inside him. Nicholas. Again. The man Rachel would mention in tones so dreamy, Edward always felt like a spare part. Hed suspected she still thought of him. Hed hoped time and shared life might change that.
Did you actually meet him? he managed, voice taut. What story did he spin this time?
He didnt make excuses, Rachel replied, a little sharp. He said he realised his mistake. Hes been thinking of me this whole time!
She turned away, methodically packing, and Edward was left standing by, the world draining of colour.
We spoke on the phone, she rattled on, checking drawers for overlooked trinkets. His parents pushed him to study abroadhe couldnt contact me. Imagine! All this time, thinking just of me, but unable to reach out. But now hes homeeverything will be different! Well finally have our happy ending!
Rachels mind raced back to their phone callNicholas, voice quivering with nerves:
Rachel, I know how dreadful this all looks. But my parents basically put a suitcase in my hand. Said: uni in London or youre out of the family. I tried to fight, really. They froze my cards, cut my bank access, took my phoneeverything!
Why not call me, once? Rachel asked, swallowing pain.
I couldnt. What would I have said? That I was too weak to stand up to my parents?
Hearing him falter, Rachel felt all the bitterness and hurt dissolve. Shed been waiting for this all alongevery day.
Now things will be different, Nicholas had said. I quit, Im home. And Im not going anywhere ever again.
Those words echoed in Rachels mind as she faced Edward.
She stopped, did a final sweep of the room, and only then noticed Edwards pallorhis face almost ghostly, staring past her.
No need to worry, Rachel added, suddenly gentler, yet immovably firm. Ive told everyone the weddings off. Explained, asked them to leave you be. Youll get plenty of sympathy, but youre strongyoull survive.
She tugged her case over, adjusted the handle as though it was the days most critical task. When she looked at him, her eyes held neither apology nor uncertainty.
And pleasedont call, text, or leave voicemails. My decisions final. I wont change my mind.
With thatwith a heavy suitcase and even heavier certaintyRachel marched to the door, straightening up as if pausing might threaten her resolve.
Edward remained frozen in the middle of the room. He wanted to shout, demand an explanation, but held his tonguehe wouldnt let himself unravel in front of her. He clenched and unclenched his fists, finally managing to speak, cool and collected:
Arent you rushing this? he asked, watching her hard.
She stopped at the threshold, gripping the handle, but didnt turn around.
What if he doesnt want to pick up where you left off? Edward pressed, stepping closer. What if he wont acknowledge your son? Has he even proposed?
Rachel spun around, cheeks ablaze. She stamped towards Edward as if meaning to physically impress her conviction upon him.
Hes asked for a serious talk! Thats enough! Dont you dare sully his nameNicholas isnt like that!
She nearly wavered at her last words but straightened instantly and yanked the suitcase toward the door.
You could at least help, she muttered, struggling to lift it.
Edward almost stepped forward to assistold habits die hardbut checked himself. Why help someone trampling your feelings? He could see Rachel had already leftin her mind, she was elsewhere, intoxicated with hope, picturing her reunion with Nicholas.
But reality was starkly different. Nicholass serious conversation wasnt a proposal, nor a vow of eternal love. He simply wanted closurealone. He was, after all, otherwise engaged.
But Rachel, lost in her fantasy, failed to notice: she was so hungry for this moment that shed believe anything, so long as she didnt have to face disappointment again.
Wrestling her suitcase to the door, she hesitated briefly, hand on the handleperhaps about to say something. She thought better of it, swung the door wide, and was gone, no backward glance.
Edward stood, staring at the closed door, the faint scent of her perfume still lingering, her last words ringing in his ears: Nicholas isnt like that!
He sank onto a chair, exhaustion flooding him. It had all happened too quickly, too irrevocably. Now, hed have to find a way to live with itwith no Rachel, no plans, no comforting delusions
*****************************
Nicholas opened his front door, puzzled by the early-morning caller. On the step stood Rachel with two suitcases, beaming as if shed just won the lottery. He froze, speechless. His only thought: How did she get this so wrong?
Hed assumed everything between them was history. Once Rachel began seeing Edward, Nicholas finally breathed againhappy for the quiet obscurity of married life. Now, he wouldnt have to deal with late-night phone calls, teary scenes, accusations. Secretly, hed even thanked her for moving on.
Yes, hed phoned her, made pleasantries, suggested a meeting in a neutral spotbut it was just a courtesy!
Now here she was, in his hallway, clearly expecting far more than a mere chat. Nicholas edged back, seeking composure.
Nicholas! Rachel almost sang. Ive made up my mind. Im hereso we can be together at last!
Her voice was one of certainty, as though fate itself had summoned her. She moved forward, but Nicholas instinctively raised a hand, holding her at bay.
Rachel, wait… he said gently, or as gently as he could manage. You might not know everything.
She frowned, her smile flickering away.
What do you mean? You wanted to meet to talk things through!
Nicholas took a breath, cursing the necessity.
Im married, Rachel. For two years now. Im very happy with my wife.
Rachel froze, her eyes wide with disbelief. There was a stunned silence before panic, anger, and hurt contorted her face.
Youre lying, she whispered, shaking her head. This cant be right. You rang me, you said things had changed!
I called to say a proper goodbye, Nicholas replied quietly. To explain its over, that weve moved on. But it seems you heard something else.
Rachel stepped back, fists trembling. She tried to compose herself, but the storm broke through.
You lied! All this time, you lied to me! I gave up everything!
Nicholas felt irritation mountinghe didnt want a scene, nor to justify himself. I never promised you anything. You decided wed be together. I just didnt want to hurt youso I tried to be gentle. Isnt that clear now?
Rachel shrieked, grabbed a suitcase and flung it against the wall. Clothes spilled across the hallway, but she didn’t care. She raged, demanded, accusedher voice growing louder by the minute.
Eventually, Nicholas had to usher her outpolite but firm. He shut the door, almost sagging with relief. But Rachel wasnt doneshe hammered at the wood, shouted his name. Neighbours peeped from their doors; someone coughed grumpily, another threatened to call the police.
An hour later, when shouting escalated and angry neighbours brandished the number for the local constabulary, she finally departed. Before she left, she turned, tears streaming, and cried:
Ill be back! Youll regret this!
Nicholas closed his eyes, exhausted. He knewthis wasnt over. Rachel was stubborn; once she fixed on something, nothing could budge her.
He wandered to the living room, collapsed onto the sofa, and thought, I need to sell this flat and move, preferably to the far side of town…
*****************************
Rachel trudged through the damp streets, oblivious to everything but her own misery. Tears stung her eyes, regret tangled her thoughts, sorrow sat heavily on her shoulders. In her imagination, Nicholas was supposed to have welcomed her with open arms, to have professed undying love. Real life, however, had decided to give her a sharp whack with a wet trout.
She wandered until her numb feet led her to Edwards. She paused at the door, dabbed at her tears, attempted to tidy her hairdesperate to look even slightly composed. After a deep breath, she pressed the bell.
Edward took a while to answer. When he finally appeared, his face was cool and distant. He stared at her, saying nothing, making no effort to invite her in.
Edward, please, she began, voice trembling. I know Ive made a hash of things. I know how daft and cruel Ive been. But I I want to put things right.
Her voice faltered; more tears welled.
I promise Ill never mention Nicholas again, she pressed on, meeting his eyes. Truly. It was all a mistakeI see now that happiness is only possible with you. Please, one more chance.
She sounded so earnest, so desperateconvinced that if she could just earn forgiveness, everything would fall into place.
Edward shook his head, slowly. No, he wouldnt fall for Round Two.
Rachel, he said softly, you made your choice. Only hours ago, you told me you were leavingfor him. You seemed so sure.
But I was wrong! she interrupted. I wasnt thinking straight! I was
Edward sighed, running a weary hand through his hair. This was difficult, but he knew: emotions werent to be trusted twice.
You didnt just leave meyou went to him. You decided, and I accepted it. Now, because things went pear-shaped, you want to come back?
Yes! she said, a little too loudly. Because I love you. Only you.
He paused, allowed himself a short, bitter laugh, and answered with unexpected steel:
I no longer believe you mean it. Goodbye, Rachel.
She felt something collapse inside. Edward looked at her with clarityno anger, only finality. He truly didnt believe her any longer.
Please her voice cracked.
Im sorry, Edward said. But its for the best.
He closed the door, leaving Rachel standing alone in the echoing corridor. She stayed a moment, then sagged to a step, buried her face in her hands, and weptfor once, not from anger or blame, but from the wretched knowledge that shed lost both Nicholas and Edward. And now she had no idea what came next.
