The woman left home, walking out on her husband and children, and two days later she received a letter
After finishing work, I decided to catch the football match in peaceno chores, no parenting, just me and my thoughts. The kids were shouting, but I had no intention of putting them to bed.
But that evening, everything was about to change. With a thud of the front door, my wife had enough and stormed out, her patience finally worn thin. I was left with our children. The calm world of a man nursing his pint on the sofa was suddenly thrown upside down. A couple of days later, I wrote a letter to my wife:
My dearest Jane,
A few days ago, we had a row. Id returned home, exhausted. It was 8 oclock, and all I wanted was to lounge on the sofa and watch the match.
You were in a foul mood and obviously drained. The children were bickering and screaming while you tried to get them to bed.
I turned the volume up just to drown them out.
Would it kill you to help a little and do your bit with the kids? you asked, lowering the sound.
Annoyed, I snapped back, Ive worked all day so you can stay at home and play with dollhouses.
The argument flared, words flying back and forth. You ended up in tears, exhausted and furious. I said plenty of things I regret. You shouted that you couldnt take any moreand then fled the house, leaving me in charge of the children.
I had to feed them and put them to bed on my own. The next day you still hadnt come back. I called into work for some emergency time off, and stayed home with the kids.
I dealt with all the tears, all the tantrums.
I spent the day rushing around the house without a free momentnot even to shower.
My only conversations were with children under ten.
I didnt get to sit down and enjoy a bite to eat; I was constantly tending to the children.
I felt so drained I thought I could sleep twenty hours straight, but of course, thats impossiblewith a little one waking up and shrieking every three hours.
For two days and a night, I lived without you. And I finally understood everything.
I realised just how tired you must be.
Ive come to see that being a mother is an endless act of sacrifice.
I get it nowits far tougher than sitting at a desk for ten hours and making big financial decisions.
I understand that you gave up your career and financial independence to look after our children.
I realise how hard it is when your households money depends entirely on your partner.
I understand what youre giving up when you turn down a night out or the gym with friends. You cant do the things you enjoy, or even get a full nights sleep.
I see what it feels like to be stuck in at home with the children, missing out on everything else going on in the world.
I understand why you feel so hurt when my mother criticises your parenting. No one knows our children better than their mum.
Its crystal clear to me nowthe responsibility held by mothers is the greatest in society, yet sadly it rarely gets the recognition or praise it warrants.
Im not writing simply to say I miss youthough I do, more than words. I dont want another day of your life passing without you hearing this:
Youre incredibly brave, you do a brilliant job, and I admire you so much.
The role of wife, mother, and homemaker, while the most vital in our society, is often the least appreciated. Share these words with your friends, so that maybe, just maybe, we all start to praise the most important calling of allthe calling of being a mum.
Reflecting on these past days, Ive learned a lesson I wont forget: never underestimate what someone else carries, and never take the quiet heroes at home for granted.
