Were at the station and youve got thirty minutes to book a business-class taxi for me and the kids! demanded my relative.
Are you my sister, or just some stranger passing by? Arent you ashamed of yourself, behaving like this in front of the children? Is it really such a chore for you to buy your beloved niece and nephews some clothes? Why should I have to ask for things for your own family? You ought to be offering! You ought to help me out financially! Its not like you managed to have kids, and you probably never will! But Im a single mum! Angela fired her words at me like darts, each one meant to hit a nerve, to push as deeply as possible past my boundaries.
I suppose I was never the favourite child. My mother had me before marrying, and once she did, suddenly I was in everyones way. My stepfather never let me forget I was an extra mouth to feed, while Mum took her frustration out on me shed only married the first chap she met to avoid bringing me up alone. When my little sister, Angela, was born, the family finally found a purpose for me I was to become her nanny and minder.
Every spare minute was spent with Angela feeding, entertaining, teaching never mind my own homework or growing up. If Angelas nappies werent changed on time or her lunch was late, Id be banned from going out or visiting birthdays. As Angela grew older, she came to see me as the hired help, just as our parents did.
At eighteen, after finishing school, I vowed to change everything. I picked the furthest university from home that I could and left with all my things, determined not to look back. For the next ten years, I barely heard from Mum or Angela except when they wanted to borrow money which, naturally, was never repaid.
I wasnt tempted to visit, though I knew Angela had become a mother at seventeen, married at eighteen, and only had her second so that her husband wouldnt be called up for National Service. Fate being what it was, she had twins, and her bloke legged it soon after, demanding a divorce.
Then the family started ringing more often. Unlike Angela, Id built a more solid life graduating, finding a steady job, getting noticed at work. My salary wasnt spectacular but it grew, enough that I dared to buy my own little flat on a mortgage.
Knowing I wasnt struggling, Mum and Angela would ring at least once a week, always wanting money always with the children as the excuse.
Nadine, Pollys coats ripped. Send us two hundred quid, will you? Shes got nothing to wear to nursery tomorrow!
Nadine, its the twins birthday next week Angelas found just what they want so thats four hundred pounds from you.
Nadine! Angelas lost her job again. They just dont get it; a mum of three has bigger things on her mind than work. Youll have to pay for the twins nursery and Pollys school supplies now!
Every request sounded more like a demand, never mind if I could spare it. Mum never once asked how I was, assuming I lived the high life now Id drifted from them. She wasnt proud of anything Id achieved; somehow, I was always supposed to be working harder and sending more home.
The guilt theyd planted in me as a child never left; I couldnt say no, and after each call, Id sigh and work out how I could spare the money this time what Id go without, yet again.
My private life was modest compared to Angelas, but I too could boast a failed marriage. Not long after landing my first real job, I met a colleague and we decided to marry. Just before the wedding, though, we found out I couldnt have children. My fiancé promptly left he wanted a proper wife. I coped alone and only told Mum years later. After that, my childlessness came up in any family spat.
Our Nadines a dud flower really, isnt she? Such bad luck! Thank goodness Angelas had grandbabies for us Mum would sigh. That let me have some peace, for a while, until Angela decided it was high time I demonstrated some sisterly love. One rare Saturday off, the phone rang in my flat.
Nadine, where are you? Am I really meant to take the bus with three kids? Book us a taxi now and not some cheap thing! The little ones get sick if the car stinks of smoke! Dont be tight!
Hello, where even are you? And why should I be booking taxis for you? I was baffled.
Didnt Mum tell you? Im moving in with you. No point sticking around in our pokey little town! Ill be living with you now. Were at the station and youve got thirty minutes to get a taxi sorted for us. She hung up, leaving me to collapse into a chair. So, fleeing a few hundred miles from home hadnt helped; shed found me anyway.
That evening, Angela was freely handing out orders.
Youll sort me a job in your office tomorrow youre a manager, after all with good pay but nothing too stressful. And I want decent blokes in the workplace, and theyd better be flexible about the hours. The twins need proper bunk beds; we cant all squeeze on a sofa! Tonight, Ill sleep in your bed with the boys, and you can bunk with Polly on the sofa. You know, its nearly winter the kidsll need new warm coats, too, and nothing second-rate! Im not having people call me a single mum with baggage!
I listened in disbelief. Why hadnt I thrown this spoiled girl out yet? Why had I put up with it so long? Why hadnt I defended my own boundaries before it came to this? Anger welled up at my parents, at the injustice, at myself for letting it happen so long. Suddenly resolute, I stood up and gestured for her to stop.
You can stay tonight, Angela, but tomorrow Im dropping you at the station and youre going back home. Im not supporting you or sending any more money for the children you had them, you raise them. Im done. I wasnt the one who brought you into the world, so youre not my responsibility. And as far as Im concerned, all my help over the years settles any family debt! If youre not gone by morning, Ill call the police and I dont care that youve got children, theyre your responsibility! And by the way, all of you can sleep on the guest sofa, I couldnt care less how you all fit Im used to my own comfort!
I spoke with such certainty that Angela was struck dumb. She muttered and sulked all evening, made calls to Mum to complain, but I simply ignored her. In the morning, I didnt even drive her to the station just handed her a bit of cash for the taxi, and the train fare.
Thats it. Forget the way to my door. I mean it. Ive got my own life and youre not its focus, I said, closing the door behind her.
I cried into my pillow for ages, going over and over it in my mind but I knew Id done the right thing. Otherwise, theyd have drained the life out of me, such wonderful relatives as they were.
Freed from those obligations, it felt as though I could finally breathe. I started seeing someone wonderful. Two years later, we married. Together, we adopted two beautiful children and found real happiness, at last.
