YOU CANT TURN BACK WHATS ALREADY DONE
Whenever Emily showed friends her wedding pictures, she would always chuckle, Oh, that dress nearly wore me out! Beautiful, yesbut so heavy and awkward! Next time I get married, I swear, Ill pick something light and floaty.
Everyone was certain Emily was joking, so they laughed along. And truly, she was. All her friends knew Emily had married for love. It was your typical holiday romance. Emily was 21, James, 28.
It was Augustgentle sea breezes, crisp white wine, starry skies Romance seemed to swirl everywhere and in the end, they left the seaside with a marriage certificate. Of course, before that, James had to finish divorcing his second wife, while Emily packed up and moved to his hometown.
LondonBrightonLondon. For ten years, that journey would become Emilys most familiar routine.
But that was later. At first, the newlyweds looked for a flat to rent. James had signed over his own place to his second wife, who threatened everything from overdosing to assaulting his supposed next bride with acid, or hurling herself from the window if he dared not return!
In time, though, the second wife faded away. Maybe James promised her he would come back. He preferred not to remember his first marriage, which had only lasted a year and a halfDidnt work out. Afterward, hed happily married his first wife off to a friend, claiming to have made everyones life easier, including his own.
The second marriage, meanwhile, lasted a bit longer. After three years, James realised his mistake: his wife was, as he put it, an ignoramusshe even called children human offspring and wanted none of them.
None of these tangled histories bothered Emily in the least. She was confident, ambitious, and sure of her allure. James adored her and spoiled her with armfuls of flowers, coats in triplicate, and enough shoes for a millipede. He whisked her away to London, Paris, and Bathall to broaden her horizons and give them energy before their first baby arrived.
Soon, their little girl, Sophie, was born. While Emily doted on their daughter, James bought a cosy house and furnished it lovingly for his beloved girls.
They celebrated moving in. Sophie started nursery.
Emily devoted herself to further study, but always insisted on studying back in London, her hometownwith friends, her mother, and all the comforting limes in the city park.
Shed leave Sophie safely with her mother-in-law, who doted on her granddaughter, and in term time Emily stayed in London. James became hopelessly jealous, concocting strange, over-the-top ambushes for Emily, even in another city. But outwardly, Emily gave him no cause to worryor, so it seemed.
Truth was, she couldnt help feeling restlessfamily life bored her. She would have gladly kept on studying forever, just to avoid housework, childcare, and the day-to-day business of wifedom. She told herself life was slipping away and, being clever and attractive, she deserved something more than busywork.
Eventually, Emily carried three degreesfirst class, all of themin her handbag. She was a psychologist by training, and kept her certificates at the ready, since she was constantly job-hunting with enthusiasm.
James was vehemently against it.
Havent we got enough money? Ill go mad waiting for you to come home each night! Emily, why not have another baby? I dont care if its a boy or girl; I just want you here with us.
Emily saw no point in a second childone was, to her mind, a finished task. Shed given life to Sophie, given James a daughter. Wasnt that enough?
James mother, listening to Emilys capricious speeches, suggested they leave little Sophie with Granny for nowat least until Emily grew up. She claimed Emily had no time for her daughter, forever off in academic or dreamy pursuits while Sophie needed real love and attention.
Without hesitating, Emily agreed and quickly headed back to London, barely giving James notice. Ill ring from London, she decided.
But waiting for her in London was… James. He caught onto Emilys tricks by now.
Emily, wheres Sophie? Why are you here and not in Brighton? Have you got another man? he fumed.
Dont fret, James! No, theres no one else. Im just bored, cant you see? I want my freedom! Emily replied calmly.
Freedomfrom me and your daughter? Where did your love go? Vanished? Maybe youre having a midlife crisis. Lets get through it together, Em, its nothing, James pleaded.
We wont, Emily said, full stop.
James rushed to Emilys mother for help. She shrugged.
What can I do? Sort it out yourselves. Emily wont be talked round. Shes as stubborn as a post!
James went back to Brighton alone, at a total loss. How could he fix this? Return his wife? Save their family? Sometimes you get penalised for your own generosity, he mused.
Days passed. Weeks. Emily didnt come down. She answered his calls, but was brisk: Im fine.
In the meantime, time worked its magic.
James decided to sell his house and move with Sophie to Londonanything to rescue his family.
Emily was unimpressed. She tried to talk James out of it. Why drag Sophie away from her school and pals? Gran wouldnt approve either.
Really, though, these were just excuses. Emily was revelling in her freedom, determined not to give it up. Live like a lark on the breezethat was her motto. She opened her own tailoring business, let a flat, and collected a few admirersno time for boredom now. Suddenly, her husband and child seemed like burdens from another life. She wanted to erase that time entirely, feeling like it belonged to another woman.
James ignored Emilys protests and moved to London with Sophie. He still hoped to restore their family, nourished by a lingering love for Emily.
At first, James collected Emily from work, brought around their daughter (who was the spitting image of her mother), but it was pointless. Emily was unmoved, aloof as a statue.
Finally, Emily said,
James, leave me be. We need to divorce. Youre welcome to let Sophie stay with me.
But Sophie was elevenshe didnt need putting up with. She had a loving dad and a devoted grandmother who prayed for her night and day. She remembered her mother, loved her, but couldnt grasp why her own mum had so willingly left her behind.
Time ticked onunstoppable as ever.
Life moved forward, rewarding all in due course.
James stopped trying to fish in a dry pond. Hed learned Emilys heart would never open to him again.
Fate brought James a down-to-earth womanher feet firmly planted. She had no use for Paris or a hundred shoes. She simply wanted warm wellingtons for autumn mud, a decent coat for tending animals, and her children to have a better life.
James felt peace at last. Where life is simple, thats where the angels gather; overcomplicate things and you lose your way. Soon, a baby girl was born to James and his second wife, and this time, he discovered true happinesseven if it took until marriage number four. He kept the first three attempts sealed in his memory.
Emily lives with her mother in her mums house. One business partner once promised her the moon, but then fleeced her out of everything. Her tailoring work unravelled, and her circle of suitors disappeared.
They all courted her, then vanished. Emily became a school psychologist at lastso all her study paid off. Shed say she regretted nothing, but who can say what goes on deep in the heart? Maybe, just maybe, our lark will one day feel a spark of remorse.
Sophie eventually grew up and married, settling in Brighton with her grandmother whod raised her.
On her wedding day, Sophie wore a light, airy wedding gownjust as her mother once dreamed of. Emily gave it to her as a gift, perhaps thinking of another time.
And so life teaches us: you cant undo whats already done. Time moves forward, leaving us only with what weve sown, and teaching us that real happiness often lies in simple thingsif only we take the time to notice.
