Heating Up the Marriage
Listen, Beth… How about we try an open relationship? Simon suggests tentatively.
What? Beth doesnt catch on right away. Youre joking, arent you?
Theres nothing strange about it, her husband shrugs, putting on a calm front. Loads of people do this nowadays, especially in Europe. They say it actually spices up a marriage. You told me yourself a little treat on a diet is fine, helps to stop you from craving things. The same goes herevariety makes life more interesting.
Beth blinks slowly, trying to process what hes just said. Comparing a mistress to a chocolate bar is either incredibly stupid or downright cheeky.
Simon she starts. If you want to leave, just go. Ill give you your freedom, but dont drag me into this nonsense.
Beth, no need to get prickly! I love you, honestly. But the sparks gone. We sleep back to back, and the only thing we talk about is shopping and the electric bill. Its all gone a bit flat, dont you think? We both need a shake-up. Im not trying to tie you down. Chat with someone, get out a bit. It might even do you good.
Beth narrows her eyes. It suddenly becomes obvious: her husband is lying. Those shifty eyes, his fingers drumming nervously on the table He doesnt want freedom for some hypothetical future. He needed it yesterday.
Simon, tell me honestly. Have you found someone else already? Are you suggesting this so your conscience will be clear?
Oh, here we go! Simon waves her off. Would I be having this conversation if that were the case? Regret asking now, you sound like youre straight out of the 1950s. Forget I said anything
With that, he gets up, looking wounded, and disappears into another room. Beth is left alone with her thoughts.
Twenty-five years. Shes given him the best years of her life, seen him through highs and lows, their struggles with money, all those late nights at the officewhich now strike her in an entirely different light Now he sits there, well-fed and content, asking her to be party to the demolition of their family. Get out a bit, he says. How convenient.
That night, they slept in separate rooms. Well, he might have. Beth couldnt sleep at all. She lay awake, staring first at the ceiling, then out the window, wondering how they ended up like this. Simon once brought her armfuls of lilacs, worked hard to give her a lovely wedding, and celebrated their daughters birth as if it was the best thing in life. Now? She wished hed just left, plain and simple.
Where was the turning point? Was it when she stopped putting on makeup at home for his sake? Or when he first forgot their anniversary, blaming a crisis at work? In the end, does it matter anymore?
Part of her wanted to just file for divorce and leave it all behind. But how do you just erase almost half your life?
Maybe the passion died away, but routines, a shared home, and mutual support replaced it. Simon felt like a safe anchor. Their daughter left home long ago, and with old age ahead, at least theyd always looked out for each other. Once hed taken out a loan to help her mumshe knew not everyone would.
Inside Beth, grievances and old fears were brewing. Was Simon counting on her never finding anyone else? Did he see her as some worn-out woman, useful only for cooking stew and knitting socks for grandchildren, waiting loyally for him to drop in between his adventures?
No, she told herself.
Fine, she announces to him the following morning. Lets do it your way.
What do you mean?
I agree. Lets have your precious open relationship.
Simon nearly chokes on his tea. He was expecting fireworks. Instead, she calmly said yes.
Well Good. Who knows, you might end up enjoying it, he grumbles. Ill be late this evening, by the way.
Her heart twists again. That quickly?
The rest of the evening is dull and grey. Beth feels broken and thrown aside, like an out-of-date phone model. She stands in front of the mirror. Tired eyes, a few wrinkles, skin not as perfect as before. But shes still in good shape. Her hair is thick. Maybe shes still attractive? Perhaps Simon is the problem, not her.
She remembers the way other men looked at her, like Alex from the office down the corridor. Hed been transferred from another branch a month ago: tidy chap with a touch of grey at the temples and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Hed held doors open, brought her coffee, and more than once invited her to lunch. Last week, he even suggested dinner at a restaurant.
Oh, Alex, Im on a diet. Its called married woman, shed laughed him off then.
Beth, marriage is a stamp in the registry, not a life sentence, Alex had smiled. But I wont push.
Simon wanted her to get out a bit? Very well.
Evening, Alex. Does your offer of dinner still stand? Seems Ive got some free time and a sudden urge to break my diet, she messages.
This isnt revenge. Beth just wants to feel like a woman again, to remember who she is outside her role as Simons wife.
The rest of the night is a blur of mixed emotions. Alex proves himself an attentive date, pulling out her chair and filling her glass, listening closely. The way he looks at her makes her feel like the only woman in the room.
Beth feels almost guilty. But lost in Alexs company, a long-forgotten sense of excitement awakens. For once, her life isnt just cooking or picking up Simons dirty socks.
Shall we go back to mine? Alex offers after dessert. We could pick up a bottle of wine and watch something nice carry on this lovely evening.
She nods. Theres a voice inside screaming, Beth, think about this! but then she remembers Simons face as he suggested she get out there.
Just as they arrive at Alexs, her phone wont stop ringing. Its Simon. She silences the call once, twice. No effect.
Yes? she answers, trying to stay calm.
Where on earth are you? Simon snaps immediately. Its ten oclock! Theres nothing in the fridge, Im starving, and youre not home! Have you completely lost it?
Beth is stunned. Alex, hearing the row, politely disappears into the other room. The romantic mood is dead.
Im actually on a date, Simon.
Sorry? What date?
Do I have to spell it out? You suggested we see other people. Well, thats exactly what Im doing. Does it only work one way?
Theres a long, heavy pause with nothing but Simons breathing.
You Youve really gone off with someone already? I was joking! I was testing you, Beth. Testing! And you couldnt wait, could you? Moped around a day, then ran straight for it?
Beth is lost for words.
And where did you get to tonight, then? she asks.
Nowhere! I was at work, thats all, Simon snaps. Thats it I want none of your rubbish in my life. Either pack your bags or Im leaving. Were divorcing.
He hangs up. Beth stares blankly at the wall, feeling spat on and humiliated.
Everything ok? Alex reappears.
Yes its fine, really Beth tries to smile, but fails.
Beth Alex glances at his watch. I think tonights not the night. You ought to head home, sort things out.
The spell is broken, the carriage is a pumpkin, and her dashing gent has sensibly stepped aside, not wanting to get caught in someone elses domestic mess. Fair enough. He expected an easy evening, not a family crisis.
Probably best if shed just started the divorce. But hindsight is always too late.
That night, Beth doesnt go home. She checks into a hotel. She cant face Simons fury, and she needs time to accept that nothing will ever be the same.
Three years pass
Life, like a sculptor, has chipped away everything unnecessary, if painfully so.
Simon found himself a new flame with suspicious speedeven before the decree absolute. She did a runner the moment they sold their shared flat, making off with his cut of the money as well.
Nothing happened with Alex. They still cross paths at work, but now only exchange formal nods. Beth realises men happy to play the lover often vanish when the words long-term or support arise in a relationship.
But shes stopped looking. Once she moved into her own flat, time and energy seemed to multiply. All that effort once sucked up by Simons whims was hers at last.
Swimming mornings fixed her dodgy back, and English lessons kept her mind sharp. She cut her hair short, completely updated her wardrobe.
And best of allshe became a grandmother.
Her daughter, Sarah, had a baby girl six months ago. At first, in the fallout of the split, Sarah took her fathers sideSimon played the victim beautifully, painting her mother as an unfaithful woman who destroyed the family for a lover.
But time sorted everything out. Sarah drove over, determined to confront her mother and see the truth for herself. What she found wasnt the floozy of her fathers tales but a tired, honest woman who had lost her way.
Beth told it all straight: Simon introduced the idea, hed been working late for years, and shed felt lonely for a long time. Sarah, now married herself, understood at last. When Simon so quickly took up with another woman, Sarah made her choiceshe stuck by her mum.
Now Beth sits at Sarahs kitchen table, cradling her granddaughter, Sophie, in her arms. Little Sophie grabs at her finger, determined and curious.
Dad rang again, Sarah says, grimacing. Wants to come by, see Sophie.
And you? Beth asks calmly.
Told him were out of town, Sarah sighs. I just dont want him here, Mum. Half the time he slates you, the next minute hes after me to help patch you two up. I get all tense when hes around. And I dont want him turning Sophie against you. If he wants his freedom so badly, let him get on with it.
Beth just hugs her granddaughter a little tighter.
Simon got exactly what he wanted: total freedom. No one pesters him, no one interrupts his television. But hes learnt freedom has a bitter tasteand its far too late to change his mind.
