When Sarah saw what her husband had brought home this time, she laughed so hard that their three kittens, who had rushed over to investigate the commotion, scampered behind her legs for safety. The mother cat spotted her babies, wriggled out of Tom’s arms, and began licking them, fussing over each one as if making up for lost time.
Anyway, let me tell you what happened. Tom drives a small delivery van for work, handling bits and bobs for all sorts of local customers every day. The depot is out past the edge of town, tucked away behind a row of oak trees, with about ten vans parked up together. Its got a small staff room where you can grab a sandwich and a little clock-in machine by the door.
That morning, Tom hopped into the drivers seat, coaxed life into his old trusty vanwhich as usual sputtered, rattled and sounded more like it belonged on a farm than on the roads. During lunch, as he switched off the engine and started heading for the kitchen, he suddenly caught an odd squeak coming from under the bonnet. It sounded a bit like the fan belt acting up or maybe the cooling fan had snagged on somethingeven though the van was off.
He looked around at the other drivers, already happily tucking into their sandwiches, and decided hed better check. He lifted the bonnet and nearly jumped out of his skin. Right there, sitting on the cooling fan cover next to the radiator grille, was a tiny black kitten covered in grease and crying pitifully.
His knees went weak at the thought of what could have happened if the kitten had been trapped while the engine was running. He gently picked up the little fella, closed the bonnet, and sat back behind the wheel, a bit shaken.
When he got home, Sarah let him have it:
“You daft sod! Did you not check your van before you left? What if you’d hurt the poor thing? If you ever pull a stunt like this again, you can forget coming home! Got it?”
Tom stuttered through his excuses, hands raised in surrender, while the kitten curled up in Sarahs arms, purring away. Without missing a beat, she whisked him off to the bath, cooing and murmuring sweet nothings as she cleaned him up. Tom gave a heavy sigh, thinking backwhen did he last hear her speak so gently to him? He came up empty, so he shrugged and headed back out for his afternoon shift.
The following day, slightly traumatised by his kitten discovery, Tom checked under the bonnet first thingnothing. Then he crouched to look beneath the van Lo and behold, there was another surprise! An orange-and-white kitten, this time, who chirped up and raced straight to him. Tom picked up the second little stray and, remembering Sarahs stern words, turned the van towards home.
This time, Sarah didnt scold him at all. She looked at Tom with a hint of admiration and said, “Well done, love. This is probably the smartest thing youve done in twenty years.” With that, she spirited the second kitten away to the bath, yesterdays kitten tailing behind.
Toms day went swimmingly after that. He was in good spirits, feeling more confident than he had in ages. That evening, they sat down to dinner as a foursomethe kittens had clearly decided Sarah was their favourite, climbing onto her lap, scratching and rolling about. Sarah laughed so freely and joyfully that Tom was reminded why hed fallen for her all those years ago.
The next dawn, Tom warily stooped to check under the van again. “Oh, blimey” he muttered, spotting yet another kittena grey one, with white patches. He scooped up this third foundling and brought him home too.
That evening, Sarah hauled Tom off to see Mrs. Green, a local healer and self-styled witch. She took one look at Tom and, after much dramatic waving and muttering, declared him afflicted: two love spells, three curses, and a hex. The prescription? A month of treatment and £400.
By the following morning, Tom was downright scared to approach his van. After a good think and a few cigarettes, he plucked up the courage and peered underneath. This time, it wasnt a kittenit was a full-grown, grey mother cat, her belly sagging, clearly the mum to their trio.
“What now?” he sighed, opening the cab door. The mother cat meowed, hopped in gracefully, and settled herself inside.
When Tom carried her into the house that evening, Sarah laughed even harder and longer, so much so that the kittens, dashing in at the sound, took cover behind her legs. The mother cat spotted her babies, squirmed free, and immediately began fussing over them.
Tom watched in wonder, as if seeing the scene for the first time.
“Whats she up to?” he asked Sarah, baffled.
Sarah chuckled, shaking her head. “Honestly, Tom, dont you see? Shes managed to sort her kittens out and bag herself a nice home in the bargain!”
She bent down, stroked the mum cat, and mused, “Ive never seen anything like it. Youd need a proper cats mind to pull something this clever.”
Towards the end of the week, Sarah announced that Tom was heading off for a spot of fishing. He looked so stunned his mouth fell open and his eyes nearly popped out.
“Go on, off you pop!” she insisted. “Im having the girls round. Dont get under our feet, alright?”
“Right okay,” Tom murmured, unsure whether to be pleased or put out, though frankly, his opinion hardly mattered by this point.
Just before he left, Sarah came over and kissed him.
“I always knew you were wonderful,” she said with a soft smile.
Tom stepped out onto the porch, taking in the surroundings.
“My goodness, its lovely here,” he whispered. “Why havent I noticed before?”
Birds were singing, not just outside but, it felt, somewhere inside him too.
Meanwhile, Sarahs friends arrived one by one, each with some bubbly and snacks. Once everyone gathered round, the big grey mother cat took up a place right in the middle of the tablecloth. The women poured out the champagne and raised a toast:
“To the wise lady of the house, whos managed to sort out her familyand herself!”
No one remembers what the second toast was for. The cat stretched happily on the table, blinking lazily, knowing full well she was loved and that this was her home.
The kittens snoozed peacefully on the sofa, huddled close and softly snoring.
So, thats the story. Heres my toast:
Lets wish good health to clever women and their lucky husbands who get to live alongside them.
And I wish that for all of you too.
