“Where on earth are you off to? Weve come to see you!”
“I cant stand your sister!” huffed Emily, pulling a face. “She drives me up the wall!”
“Youre not the only one,” sighed Oliver, backing up his wife.
“She sticks her nose into everything and acts like shes the cleverest person alive. You should see the smug look on her face when she thinks shes got one over on me,” grumbled Emily through gritted teeth. “One minute its my manners, the next its my lipstick being ‘last season.'”
“Thats just how shes always been,” Oliver shrugged. “Mums fault, reallyspoiled her rotten and let her get away with murder.”
“Thank goodness we live fifty miles away from your lot,” Emily rolled her eyes.
Olivers mother, Margaret, and his sister, Felicity, lived in London, while Oliver and Emily had settled in a cosy little village nearby.
The two women, both widows, shared a flat together, which meant every visit to Olivers mum inevitably included Felicity. And since Felicity couldnt stand her sister-in-law, every visit also came with a side of bickering.
At first, Emily bit her tongue, but after a while, she started giving as good as she got. Before long, even Margaret had started nitpickingmostly because Felicity had worn her down.
Every family meet-up ended in drama, so the couple decided to stop visiting altogether.
Margaret, of course, noticed.
“Why havent you been round? Two whole weeks without a visit! Dont you think your own mother and sister miss you?” she scolded over the phone.
“Just busy, no time,” Oliver replied curtly, avoiding details.
“Too busy for family? Or is your wife calling the shots now?” Margaret sniffed. “Last time, she left looking like shed swallowed a bag of lemons.”
“Like I saidthings to sort out,” Oliver cut in, ending the call before she could pry further.
An hour later, Margaret rang back.
“Felicity and I are popping by your place,” she announced.
“What? Why?” Oliver blinked.
“Well, since you wont come to us, were visiting an old friend in your village and thought wed drop in,” she said breezily.
Olivers stomach dropped. The whole point of not visiting was to avoid them turning up unannounced!
“We might not even be home,” he fibbed.
“Where on earth would you be?” Margaret snapped. “Honestly, if you dont want to see us, just say so!”
“Birthday party,” Oliver blurted.
“Fine. Off you go, thenits not like your own mother and sister visit every day,” she huffed before hanging up.
Oliver did feel a twinge of guilt, but remembering how they treated Emily, he shook it off.
He didnt mention the near-miss visit to Emilyno need to stress her out.
Big mistake.
Three hours later, the doorbell rang. Emily answeredand froze. There stood Margaret and Felicity, smirking.
Oliver sprinted to the hallway.
“Emily, love, arent you ready yet?” he said loudly, pretending not to see them.
“Ready for what?” Emily frowned.
“The birthday party! You forgot?” Oliver forced a laugh. “OhMum! Felicity! What are you doing here?”
“We *told* you we were coming,” Margaret said coolly. “Are you going to leave us on the doorstep?”
“Sorry, were just on our way out. Emily, go get changed,” Oliver said, steering her away.
Emily caught his wink and played along.
“Where are you off to? We came all this way!” Felicity folded her arms. “Bit late for a party, isnt it?”
“Starts at eight,” Oliver said briskly. “Half an hour to get there.”
“Youre going in *that*?” Margaret scoffed, eyeing his pyjamas.
“Blimey, forgot to change!” Oliver feigned embarrassment, bolting to the bedroom.
Felicity and Margaret exchanged a look. They werent buying it.
“Couldnt you cancel?” Margaret asked when he returned, now dressed.
“Absolutely not,” Oliver said firmly. “Weve RSVPdand the dinners pre-paid. Come back next week?” (He knew shed refuse.)
“Or we could wait here till youre back?” Felicity suggested, eyeing the living room.
“No need! Youve got other plans, surely?” Oliver countered.
“Your place is nicer than that old friends,” Margaret said with a tight laugh. “Besides, she wasnt exactly thrilled to see us.”
“Want a lift to the coach station?” Oliver offered.
“Last bus left ages ago,” Felicity said smugly.
“FineIll book you a hotel,” Oliver said, desperate.
“A *hotel*?” Margarets face fell.
“Afraid well nick your telly?” Felicity sneered.
“No, we just dont like people in our home when were out,” Emily cut in.
“Well take you now,” Oliver pressed.
“Dont bother!” Margaret stormed out, Felicity in tow, muttering about ungrateful relatives.
Once their taxi vanished, Oliver and Emily collapsed in relief.
The fake party excuse had workedfor now.
Margaret and Felicity fumed all the way back to London, vowing never to speak to them again.
Oliver only remembered them months later, when a dentist appointment took him to the city. He swung by their flat, hoping for lunch.
Felicity opened the door. “Were off out,” she said coldly. “Cant have *strangers* alone in the house.”
Oliver left, stung.
After that, the family ties were well and truly cut.
