I dont want to live with my daughters family! Let me explain why.
My daughter and her family suddenly found themselves without a roof over their heads. After a heavy flood, their flat was left uninhabitable and needed serious refurbishment. So, with nowhere else to go, my daughter, her husband, and their child have moved in with me.
Of course, I could see they had no other option, so I opened my home to them without hesitation. After talking it over with my daughter Charlotte and my son-in-law David, we all agreed that this arrangement was temporary, and theyd return to their own home as soon as it was fixed.
Charlotte is a lovely daughter, and David is a sensible chap, so we reached an understanding quite easily: a family ought to be independent, and everyone else is essentially outside that circle. I feel strongly about this, and I want to share my reasoning.
I have my own way of doing things, which is really quite different from Charlottes and Davids routines. For instance, though Im fine having Charlotte in my space, David still feels like a bit of a stranger, and naturally, he has a right to his own privacy. Its pointless for us to argue over my habit of falling asleep with the telly on, or for Charlotte and David to be annoyed if they decide to have friends round. Weve all got our own ideas about how the house should be kept, and we shouldnt fall out over unwashed dishes. Small irritations like these can ruin the closest relationships.
We also have entirely different tastes when it comes to food. And dont get me started on unexpected visitorsinevitably, someones bound to help themselves to someone elses treats. Putting a lock on the biscuit tin isnt a real solution!
Our sleeping patterns are out of sync as well, which is a headache on its own. Trying to tiptoe around so as not to disturb each other can really take its toll. People aren’t always considerate about others’ sleep, and a lack of rest leads to frayed tempers and headachesits a recipe for disaster. Sometimes, even the smallest spark can set off a row.
More importantly, I dont want to judge how my daughter and son-in-law choose to live. Ive taught her everything I could, and now, I only want to see the bits of their life that theyre willing to show meId rather not know all the details. But thats impossible when were all sharing a house.
And most of all, I want to choose for myself when and how I help them. I want to help them out of kindness, not obligation. I need to have time for myself as well.
