Why Should It Matter Who Cared for Nan! By Law, That Flat Should Be Mine! – My Own Mum Argues with Me My Own Mother Is Threatening to Take Me to Court. Why? Because My Grandmother’s Flat Didn’t Go to Her—Or Even to Me—But to My Daughter. My Mum Insists It’s Completely Unfair and Believes She Should Have Inherited Nan’s Flat. But Gran Made a Different Choice. Why? Probably Because My Husband and I Lived With Her and Looked After Her for the Last Five Years. You Could Honestly Call My Mum a Selfish Person. Her Own Interests and Desires Have Always Meant Far More Than Anyone Else’s. My Mum Was Married Three Times, but Had Just Two Children: Me and My Younger Sister. My Sister and I Get Along Brilliantly. But It’s a Different Story When It Comes to Our Mum. I Don’t Even Remember My Dad. He Divorced My Mum When I Was Just Two. Until I Was Six, I Lived With Mum at Nan’s House. For Some Reason, I Thought Nan Wasn’t Very Nice. I Suppose It Was Because Mum Was Always Crying. It Was Only as I Got Older That I Realised Nan Was a Good Person—She Just Wanted the Best for Her Daughter. Later, Mum Married Again and We Lived With My Stepfather. That’s When My Sister Was Born. Mum Stayed with Him for Seven Years, and Then That Marriage Fell Apart Too. This Time, We Didn’t Move Back in with Nan. My Stepfather Went Away for Work and Let Us Stay in His Flat for a While. Three Years Later, Mum Married Her Third Husband and We Moved Again. He Wasn’t Too Thrilled to Inherit Kids, But He Never Hurt Us—He Just Didn’t Pay Us Any Mind. Neither Did Mum, Really—She Was Consumed by Jealousy and Was Always Putting On a Scene Over Him. Once a Month, Mum Would Start Packing Her Bags, and Every Time My Stepfather Would Convince Her to Stay. My Sister and I Got Used to It and Stopped Paying Attention. I Ended Up Raising My Sister, As Mum Never Had the Time. Luckily, Our Grans Helped Us Out. Later, I Went Off to Uni and My Sister Stayed with Nan. Our Dad Always Supported Her. Mum Only Rang Us at Christmas. I Accepted Mum for Who She Was—Never Caring for Us, Never Worrying. But My Sister Couldn’t. She Resented Mum Deeply, Especially When Mum Didn’t Even Turn Up for My Sister’s Graduation. We Grew Up. My Sister Got Married and Moved Away with Her Husband. My Boyfriend and I Lived Together, Not Rushing Things. I Visited Nan Often; We Were Very Close, Though I Tried Not to Be Underfoot. Then Nan Fell Ill and Ended Up in Hospital. I Visited Her Daily, Brought Groceries, Cooked, Cleaned, and Just Sat and Chatted With Her. Most Importantly, I Made Sure She Took Her Medication. For Six Months, I Went Every Day. Sometimes with My Boyfriend—He Fixed Things Around the House, Helped Keep Everything Going. Eventually, Nan Suggested We Move In So We Could Save For Our Own Place. Naturally, We Agreed Without a Second Thought. Nan Really Liked My Partner, Too. We Moved In, and Six Months Later, I Fell Pregnant. We Decided to Keep the Baby. Nan Was Overjoyed—She’d Have a Great-Grandchild! We Got Married Quietly, Just Close Family at a Café. My Mum Didn’t Even Come. She Didn’t Even Call. When My Daughter Was Two Months Old, Nan Fell and Broke Her Leg. Caring for a Newborn and an Elderly Grandmother Was Overwhelming. I Asked Mum For Help—She Refused, Saying She Felt Unwell and Would Come Later. She Never Did. Six Months Later, Nan Had a Stroke and Was Bedridden. It Was Utterly Draining Caring For Her, but My Husband Helped. Nan Did Get a Bit Better; She Could Speak and Move Again. She Lived to See Her Great-Granddaughter Run Around. Nan Passed Away Peacefully in Her Sleep. My Husband and I Miss Her Terribly. Mum Only Showed Up for the Funeral. A Month Later, She Turned Up Ready to Kick Me Out and Take the Flat For Herself. She Was Convinced It Was Hers by Right. Mum Didn’t Know That Nan Officially Gave the Flat to Us After My Daughter Was Born. Mum Was Furious. She Demanded I Hand It Over, Threatening to Take Us to Court. “Just Look at Her—How Sneaky! You Tricked the Old Lady and Took Her Flat, and Now You’re Living There! You’ll Pay For This! It Doesn’t Matter Who Looked After Nan—That Flat Ought to Be Mine!” Mum Isn’t Getting a Flat—Not a Bit of It. I’ve Checked With the Solicitor. We’ll Stay in the Home Nan Gave Us. If We Have Another Daughter, We’ll Name Her After Gran.

What does it matter who cared for Gran! By rights, that flat ought to be mine! my mother argued heatedly with me.

Its a strange thing, looking back, to recall that my very own mother threatened to take me to court. All because my grandmothers flat was not left to her, nor to me, but rather to my daughter. My mother considered it a terrible injustice, firmly believing the flat should have been hers. But Gran had other ideas. Likely it was because my husband and I lived with her, seeing to her every need, for those last five years.

It wouldnt be wrong to call my mother selfish. Her own wants and concerns always seemed to outweigh anyone elses. She married three times, yet had only two children: me and my younger sister. My sister and I got on splendidly but relations with our mother were never simple.

My own father is merely a distant shadow in my memory. He and my mother split when I was but two. After that, I spent my early years with Mother at Grans house. For whatever reason, I believed Gran rather unkind perhaps because my mother always seemed to be in tears. It was only years later that I realised Gran had done her best, trying to help her daughter find her footing in life.

Later, Mother married again, and I moved in with them and my new stepfather. My sister was born of this marriage. That union lasted seven years, until yet another divorce. This time we didn’t return to Grans my stepfather left for work elsewhere and let us stay in his flat for a while. Three years passed before Mother married yet again, and we moved in with her third husband.

Naturally, this new man wasnt thrilled with inheriting two stepdaughters. He never harmed us, but he paid us no mind either. Nor did Mother she was wholly absorbed in him, impossibly jealous, always causing a scene, smashing plates and storming about.

Once a month, shed start packing her bags, but my stepfather always sweet-talked her into staying. My sister and I grew indifferent to these antics. I ended up looking after my younger sister there was little time for us in Mothers busy world. Thank heavens for our grandmothers; they helped us immensely. Eventually, I set off to live in a student hostel, while my sister stayed with Gran. Our father always kept an eye out for her, and as for Mother we might only hear from her at Christmastime.

I came to accept Mother as she was and stopped expecting her to worry about us. But my sister could never quite forgive her. Especially after Mother missed her school-leaving celebration.

We grew up. My sister married and moved away to another city. As for me, though I had been seeing my boyfriend for ages, we never rushed into marriage choosing instead to share a rented flat. I visited Gran often. Wed become quite close, but I tried not to intrude on her life.

Then came the day Gran fell ill and was taken to hospital. The doctors said shed need proper care, so I began visiting every day bringing groceries, preparing her meals, tidying up, or simply sitting with her for a chat. Most important of all, I made sure she took every dose of her medicine. Some days Id bring my boyfriend; hed always lend a hand fixing things around the house and keeping everything in order. Eventually, Gran suggested we move in with her to save for a place of our own, sparing the cost of a rented flat.

We didnt hesitate for a moment. My relationship with Gran was warm, and she thought the world of my boyfriend. Not long after we moved in, I discovered I was expecting a baby. We were delighted and settled on keeping the child. Gran was overjoyed at the news of a great-grandchild. Our wedding was a modest affair, just close friends and family gathered at a small café. Mother didnt bother to turn up she didnt even ring me with her congratulations.

When our daughter was merely two months old, Gran had a fall and broke her leg. It was no easy feat, caring for both her and a tiny baby. Desperate, I rang Mother for help, but she declined, saying she wasnt feeling well and would come later. But she never kept her word.

Six months on, Gran suffered a stroke, leaving her bedridden. The care was overwhelming. Had it not been for my husband, Id not have managed. With time, Gran grew a little stronger, speaking again, even walking and feeding herself. She lived for another two and a half years after the stroke; long enough to see her great-granddaughter start toddling about. Gran passed peacefully in her sleep, and my husband and I felt the loss keenly. Wed loved her dearly, and we miss her still.

Mother came only for the funeral. One month later, she returned, demanding I vacate the flat so she could claim it for herself. She was certain shed inherit, unaware that Gran had transferred the property to my daughter not long after her birth. So Mother, in the end, got nothing.

She was absolutely livid insisting I hand her the flat, threatening to take me to court if I refused.
Just look at her, sly as you like! You tricked an old woman out of her home and now youre lording it over us! Youll never get away with it! It makes no difference who took care of Gran that flat was meant to be mine!

But my mother wont get the flat. I know she hasnt a legal leg to stand on I checked with a solicitor and the paperworks solid as a rock. We shall keep living in the flat Gran left us. And if our second child turns out to be a girl, well name her after Gran a small tribute to the woman who truly cared for us, and who understood what family should mean.