Why bring your own food?
My wifes sister and brother, along with their families, have joined us to celebrate every Christmas for the past five years. Ive done all the cooking myself, laid the table, sorted everything out, and cleaned up when it was all over. All they had to do was enjoy themselves. Last year, though, I finally hit my limit and really lost my patience. I found it all exhaustingphysically, mentally, and financially.
So, over the past year, I decided to share out the responsibilities among everyone.
But not too long ago, my mother-in-law took me aside and tried to persuade me. She said she and her husband were getting on a bit now, that its not as easy for them as it used to be, and she hoped for another Christmas together at ours.
So I rang up my wifes brother and sister to tell them Mum wanted us all together again. At first, they were delighted, agreed we ought to do as Mum wished, and said theyd be there.
Thats when I mentioned wed need to split the disheswhod cook what, and what each would bring.
I said Id provide the mains, prepare two hot courses, and bake a cake.
Theyd bring two salads, fish, meat, cheese, fruit, and drinks. Each would bring something to drink.
The moment I ran through the list, the cheer vanished from their voices. Suddenly, they didnt have the time to cook, they were busy with work, and theyd need to do the shopping and all the prep. Besides, they couldnt see the point: why bring food along at all? They said theyd much prefer to celebrate at their own homes.
So I asked them, But what about Mum? And can you believe itthey replied, Well ring her and wish her well, thatll have to do.
So in the end, they had no interest in sharing the work or contributions. I havent told my mother-in-law any of this. I dont even know how Id break it to her. Shell be really upset.
What am I supposed to do in all this? Is it worth doing Christmas all by myself again this year, after all?
Looking back, Ive realised sometimes people are happy as long as its easy for them, but when it comes to pulling together, not everyone is willing. Maybe its time to look after myself a bit more, and remember that Christmas isnt just about tradition or everyone elses happinessit ought to be about mine, too.
