WITHOUT A HEART…
Edith Margaret returned home. Shed been to the hairdresserdespite her respectable age, she had recently turned sixty-eight and still regularly pampered herself with visits to her stylist. Edith always made sure her hair and nails were neat, and these simple rituals lifted her spirits and gave her energy.
“Edie, some lady claiming to be your relative stopped by. I told her youd be in later,” her husband, Charles, informed her as she entered. “She said she’d come back.”
“What relative? Ive no family left,” Edith replied, clearly miffed. “Probably some distant cousinno doubt she wants something. You should’ve just said Id gone to the ends of the earth!”
“Why lie? She looked like someone from your sidetall, dignified, reminded me of your late mother, bless her soul. I don’t think she’s here to ask for anything. Seemed an educated sort, well dressed,” Charles tried to reassure her.
About forty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Edith opened it herself. The woman did resemble her mothersmartly dressed in a fine coat, elegant boots, gloves, and tiny diamond earrings. Edith, of course, recognised quality at a glance.
She invited the woman to join them at the table.
“Let’s introduce ourselves, since we’re apparently relatives. I’m Edithno need for formalities. And this is my husband Charles. How exactly are we related?” Edith asked.
The woman hesitated, a blush tinting her cheeks. “I’m Hannah… Hannah Victoria. Truth be told, we’re not far apart in age. I turned fifty on the twelfth of June. Does that date mean anything to you?”
Edith went pale.
“I see you remember,” Hannah continued. “Yes, I’m your daughter. Please don’t fretI dont want anything from you. I just wanted to see my mother, thats all. I spent my whole life wondering why my mother never loved me. By the way, shes been gone eight years now. Only my father ever cared, and he passed just two months ago. It was only in his final moments that he told me about you, and he asked me to forgive you, if I could,” Hannah said, nervously.
“Whats going on? You have a daughter?” Charles exclaimed, stunned.
“So it seems. Ill explain everything later,” Edith answered quietly.
“So youre my daughter? Fine. Youve seen me now. If you think Im going to beg forgiveness or shed tears, youre mistakentheres nothing for me to regret,” Edith said coldly. “I hope your father explained everything. If youre hoping to wake any maternal feelings in me, you wont succeed. Sorry.”
Hannah spoke softly, “May I come to visit again? I live just nearbyin the suburbs. We have a big two-storey house. You and Charles are welcome anytime. Perhaps youll get used to me. I brought you photosof your grandson, great-granddaughter. Maybe youd like to see?”
“I dont want to. Dont come back. Forget about me. Goodbye,” Edith replied sharply.
Charles called Hannah a taxi and walked her out. When he returned, Edith had already tidied away the table and sat peacefully watching the television.
“Youve got nerves of steel! You could command an army. Is there truly no heart in you at all?” Charles said, upset. “I always knew you were hard and cold, but this this I never imagined.”
“We met when I was twenty-eight, right?” Edith began. “Well, Charles, whatever soul I once had was wrung out of me long before that.
I grew up in a small village, always dreaming of life in the city. I studied harder than anyone, was the only one from my class to get into university.
I was seventeen when I met Victor. I loved him to distraction. He was nearly twelve years older than me, but that didnt bother me. After my penniless childhood, the city seemed magical. I barely scraped by on my grant, always hungry, so I eagerly accepted Victors invitationsout to cafés, little treats like ice cream.
He made no promises, but I had no doubt; since we were so in love, of course he would marry me.
One evening, he invited me to his cottage. I didnt think twice. I was certain, now that wed become intimate, he was mine for good. Our evenings at his place quickly became regular. Soon, it was clear I was expecting his child.
I told Victor. He was over the moon. Knowing my bump would soon show, I asked when wed be marriedI was eighteen now, eligible for a marriage licence.
“But did I ever promise to marry you?” Victor replied.
“I didnt, and I wont. Especially since Im already married,” he said calmly.
“But the baby? What about me?” I pleaded.
“Youll be fine. Youre young, healthycould be a model for a rowing club,” he scoffed. “Just take a year off your studies. When you start to show, keep learning, then well take you into our home, me and my wife. Shes much older; weve never managed to have a child on our own. When the babys born, well keep her. How its arranged isnt your concern. Im not a nobody in town hall; my wife heads a department at the hospital. So the baby will want for nothing. After you recover, you can go back to university. On top of that, well pay you.”
Id never heard of surrogacy back then. I suppose I was one of the very first surrogate mothers in the country. What else could I do? Go back to the village and disgrace my family?
I lived at their place until the birth. Victors wife never once spoke to meprobably jealous. I had my daughter at home, attended by a midwife. I didnt nurse her; they whisked the baby away immediately. I never saw her again. A week later, very politely, they sent me on my way. Victor slipped me some money.
I returned to university, then got a job at a factory. They gave me a room in the shared accommodation for workers. I started as a basic technician, then senior inspector.
I had plenty of friends, but no one ever proposed, until you came along. I was twenty-eight by thennot desperate, but it was time.
Then you know the rest. Weve had a good life together: three different cars, a comfortable house, well-kept garden. We went on holiday every year. The factory stood strong through the hard times since the nineties; only one department makes key parts for tractors, no one else knows what goes on. Still surrounded by barbed wire and guard towers.
Weve both retired comfortably. We want for nothing. No childrenand Im content with that. Seeing todays childrenwell.” Edith ended her confession.
“We havent had such a good life, Edith. I loved you. Ive spent my life trying to thaw your heart, but failed. Fine, no kids, but not even a kitten or a puppy got any kindness. My sister asked for help for her daughter, you wouldnt let her stay a week.
Today your daughter visited, and look how you treated her! Your own child, your own blood! Honestly, if we were younger Id file for divorce. Too late now. Its cold here with youso cold,” Charles retorted angrily.
Edith felt a flicker of fear; Charles had never spoken to her so sharply before.
Her peaceful life was shattered by this daughter.
Charles moved out to the garden house. Hes lived there ever since. Out there, he has three dogsstrays he took inand countless cats.
He seldom comes home. Edith knows he visits her daughter Hannah, and he’s become close with the whole family, adores the great-granddaughter.
“Hes always been a soft touch. Let him live as he likes,” Edith thinks.
She never once felt the desire to get to know her daughter, grandson, or great-granddaughter.
She travels to the seaside alone. She relaxes, recharges, and feels absolutely wonderful.
