To Be Happy Is a Choice
When Emily was four years old, her father left them for another woman. He walked out right after New Years, paused on the doorstep to whisper forgive me to his daughter, and quietly closed the front door behind him.
Her mother took it almost calmly, as if it were something fated. None of the women in her family had ever managed to hold onto their marriages for long. Still, two weeks later, in the middle of the night, her mum downed the entire bottle of pills in the medicine cupboard and drifted quietly away in her sleep.
The next morning, Emily tugged and called for her mum to wake up. When that didnt work, she scrounged up some breakfast from the fridge and tried again. Exhausted, she snuggled beside her mother and dozed off.
January days in London are short, and already dusk was settling when Emily woke up. She woke to a creeping, unfamiliar cold, pulled her blanket tight and pressed herself harder against her mother, but the chill only worsened. Only then did Emily realise it was her mums body that was so impossibly cold. Tears burned down her cheeks.
The silence was interrupted by the opening of the front door in the hallway. Emily flew towards it in a panic. Her mothers younger sister, Aunt Margaret, had arrived.
Emily, youre home. Wheres your mum? Ive been phoning all daywhy isnt she answering? I was getting worried.
Emily grabbed the hem of her aunts wool coat and tried to haul her into the bedroom, looking up through streaming eyes, pointing frantically. Her lips parted in a noiseless scream, anguish twisting her face, but no sound passed her lips.
Margaret had never managed children of her ownher marriage ended after five years when her husband moved on. But she loved her niece with a fierce devotion, and quickly became her second mother. After the tragedy, Margaret guided Emily through the paperwork and brought her to live with her. She lavished Emily with unwavering affection, but despite years of therapy, her voice never returned.
That winter, the coldest spell hit during Epiphany, covering everything with a crisp, crackling blanket of snow. Emily and her friends spent the entire day racing down the slopes at Primrose Hill on their sleds, building an entire family of snowmen and flopping in the snow to make angels.
Thats enough, time to head home. Youve got more snow on you than the garden does, and your gloves are as stiff as boards. Come on. Well stop at Sainsburys on the way back for milk and pasta, Margaret said as she bundled Emily up.
The village shop bustled with shoppers coming and going. Sitting quietly by one side of the entrance, pawing at the frosty pavement, was a ginger tomcat. He looked wise, eyes half shut, feigning disinterest in everything, though he shuffled his front paws in the cold. Emily crouched down next to him, flashing Margaret a sign to go inside alone.
All right, but dont wander anywhere. Ill only be a moment!
Emily slowly reached out to stroke the cat. He arched his back, purring in delight. Emily gently hugged the gingers neck, pressing his head to her cheek. Suddenly, her hot tears began to flow, and the cat started licking them away, sneezing as he did so.
Heavens, Emily, dont! Hes a strayhes filthy! Margaret scolded, grabbing Emilys arm and dragging her towards the car. Emily resisted, twisting to look back, but Margaret bundled her into the back seat and got behind the wheel.
The ginger cat followed to the car, mewing plaintively at Emily through the window.
I cant just leave him. He already belongs to me, but here I am abandoning him, Emily whispered, rubbing streaks of tears across the glass.
Emily! Margaret gasped, Your voice! Say it again, sweetie, say it again!
We cant leave him. Hell die without me! Emily cried, her voice echoing through the car for the first time in three years.
Margaret dashed out, scooped up the cat, and climbed into the back seat beside Emily. The ginger, terrified at first, dug his claws into her coat, but once he spotted Emily, he scrambled to her lap, curled up, and settled contentedly.
If you want this cat, then hes yours. If youd only told me, I would have found you one ages ago, Margaret smiled through joyful tears.
Life, Emily learned, is full of heartache and loss, but love and hope can bloom again when we find the courage to reach outand when we let our hearts guide us to happiness, even in the coldest winter.
