You ought to have redecorated my flat instead of gallivanting off on holiday!
The words hung in the air like a storm about to break. My mother-in-law glowered at us, arms folded, her lips pursed in disapproval. Her sitting room, neat as a pin and scarcely touched by time, hardly cried out for a fresh lick of paintrenovation was simply her latest whim. Yet she treated us as though we were her own personal patrons, nevermind that she was more than capable of footing the bill herself.
My husband, Edward, and I have always pinched the pennies, careful with every pound. Were still paying off our mortgage, and raising two teenagers, Alice and Sophie, isnt exactly a cheap affair. In all our years of marriage, not once have we managed a proper family getawayuntil this summer.
Until now, our holidays were spent camping in the woods or staying in my parents old cottage by the lake. Our daughters had never ventured beyond those familiar horizons. Wed worked hard, scrimped and saved, and finally booked that holiday to Tuscany. It stretched us thin, but to see the girls faces light up made every sacrifice worthwhile.
Edwards mother made her position clear straight after our wedding: she wasnt going to look after the grandkids, period. I respected her wishes, never asked for help. So, every holiday or long weekend when we both had to work, the girls stayed with my parents. I couldnt blame herraising two children is no small feat. Now retired, she spends her days at the pool, going on day trips, and filling her calendar with exhibitions and lectures. She lives a lively, independent life. The only hitch? Finances. Most of her wantsher clubs, her hobbies, her outingsare funded by her children, at the expense of our own family. It doesnt matter that were burdened with loans and billsMum comes first is the unspoken rule.
Every Saturday, Edward found himself at her place: fixing a wonky cupboard, putting up shelvesa never-ending honey-do list. But this year she crossed a line. She decided she wanted the flat redecorated, top to bottom. Everyone has desires, but lets be honestsometimes you just cant have what you want. Five years ago wed already refurbished her home from scratchit still looked crisp, bright, and new.
We hadnt told her about the Italian trip. We figured wed just lock up the house and go. So we did.
But during our absence she popped round, found the door locked, and promptly called Edward, who let slip that we were off in Italy. She said nothing more and hung up, but when we returned, she was waiting. And she was livid.
You could have warned me! And besides, where did you get the money? You should be doing up my flat, not wasting it on holidays!
Edward, quiet and compliant for as long as I can remember, finally drew the line. He reminded her, in no uncertain terms, that she had no claim whatsoever over our money.
Since that row, shes cut off contact. No phone calls to us, not even to her granddaughters. Instead, other relatives have started ringing, calling us selfish and ungrateful. But neither Edward nor I feel any guilt. My parents support our decisionafter all, were only young once. Why shouldnt we treat our children to memories that mean something? Especially when Edwards mothers need was little more than a fancy, not anything truly necessary.
