You should give me some warning I havent prepared a thing! Do you know how much it costs to host guests? shouted my mother-in-law.
Im the daughter-in-law: just a regular working woman, nothing special. My husband and I live in our own flat in London, paying the mortgage, bills, working from dawn till dusk to stay afloat.
My mother-in-law, Margaret, lives in a village up in Yorkshire, along with my sister-in-law, Emily. Everything would be fine if they hadnt decided that our flat was their weekend getaway. At first it sounded sweet:
Well pop round on Saturday.
Just for a little while.
Were family after all.
But just for a little while actually means staying the night; pop round means arriving with empty shopping bags, empty dishes, and expectant looks, clearly hoping for a feast.
Every weekend its the same ritual: after work, I dash to the shops, cook, clean, lay the table, smile graciously, then spend half the night washing up and tidying again. Margaret sits back and passes judgement:
Why is there no sweetcorn in the salad?
I like my stew more hearty.
We dont do it like this in the village.
And Emily chimes in:
Oh, Im so tired after the journey.
Is there no pudding?
And not once have I heard a Thank you or Can I help?
One day, I couldnt take it any longer and said to my husband, James:
Im not a housemaid, and I dont want to be at your familys beck and call every weekend.
Maybe youre right, maybe we should do something about it.
And thats when an idea struck me.
Next time Margaret rang:
Were coming over this Saturday.
Oh, weve made plans for the weekend, I replied calmly.
What sort of plans?
Just our own.
But you know what? Our plans turned out to be a visit to Margaret herself. Saturday morning, James and I were on her doorstep in Yorkshire. The door opened, and her face was frozen in surprise.
Whats all this?!
Weve come to visit. Just for a little bit.
You should warn me! I havent prepared a thing! Do you know how much it costs to host guests?
I looked at her quietly and said,
See, this is how I live every weekend.
So you thought youd teach me a lesson?! Cheeky!
Her shouting was so loud, the neighbours peeked out, and soon enough we were back in the car heading home.
And you know whats funny? Since then, theres not been a single unexpected visit. No one popping round or spending entire weekends in my kitchen. Sometimes, if you want to be understood, you need to show people what its really like to walk in your shoes.
It taught me that standing up for yourself isnt selfish its standing up for your own peace. Respect in relationships goes both ways.
