“Oh, Im not your wifewe never went to the registry office, did we?”
“What kind of wife am I to you? Did we sign papers? Exchange rings? Make it official?”
Emily lowered her gaze. Shed dreamed of all that, but the years passed, and life rolled on without any formalities.
“No! No! And no!” snapped Daniel. “Youre nothing to me! What made you think you could call yourself my wife?”
“Danny, dont shut me outtalk to me!” she pleaded, reaching for his hand.
“Got anything useful to add?” He jerked away. “Youve already said too much!”
“But I didnt even say anything” Emily muttered.
“Get this through your headsilence is golden! Especially for you!” He turned pointedly to the window.
“Stop sulking, love!” She moved closer.
“Wish youd kept your mouth shut!” Daniel threw his hands up. “Where do you women learn to wreck everything in one sentence? Is there a class on driving men up the wall?”
Emily figured he was still stewing over their morning rowDaniel had smashed two mugs, his and hers.
“How could you?” shed fumed. “Most people have handsyours might as well be spades! Smash your own, fine, but why touch mine? Making sure Ive got no favourite cups left?”
Just a silly domestic spat. The kind you shrug off. But Daniel had stormed out to work and spent the evening in icy silence, ignoring her calls to dinner. Time to smooth things over.
“Oh, come on, well buy new mugs at Harrods on Saturday! And your handswell, practice makes perfect!”
“What mugs?!” Daniels eyes flashed. “Do you even grasp what youve done with your blabbering?”
“I can apologise” Emily faltered. “Dont be angry.”
“Apologise?” He let out a bitter laugh. “If sorry could erase your words, Id be over the moon! But youve just finished me off!”
“God, what did I even say?” It finally hit herthis wasnt about crockery.
“Who told my boss today that she was speaking to Daniels wife?!” He was shaking with rage.
“You were in the shower, the phone rang” she babbled. “I answered, said to wait. She asked who I was, so I said his wife. When I passed you the phone, shed hung up. Whats the crime?”
“Youre seriously asking?!” His face turned purple, a vein throbbing at his temple. “What wife? Did we sign papers? Exchange rings? Put a ring on it?”
Emily swallowed. Shed dreamed of it, but
“No! No! And no!” he yelled. “Youre nobody! What gave you the right to call yourself my wife?”
***
“How longs this circus going on?” Margaret smirked.
“Mum” Emily frowned. “Times have changed. You, of all people, judging? After Dad, you had your fair share of flings!”
“Dont lie about your mother!” She kept smiling. “At my age, gossip slides right off. But youre youngthink ahead!”
“Mum, fifty-five isnt ancient! You could still land a husband!”
“If a decent man comes alongwhy not?” She smoothed her silver strands. “Till then, Ill manage with substitutes.”
“Honestly!” Emily snorted.
Then her mother turned serious.
“Love, I get itlots live together, have kids now. But legally? Its cohabitation. No guarantees.”
“If theres love, who needs guarantees?”
“Love fadesemptiness stays. A proper husband means alimony, a share in assets. Without it? Youll get nothing, not even in court!”
“Dan and I are fine! Six years together. Why bother with papers? We earn the same.”
“Not good enough!” Her mother wagged a finger. “Start dropping hints! Call him hubby, joke about wifey. Ease him in. Thenwalk him down the aisle!”
“What if I scare him off?” Emily shook her head. “Happiness is fragiledont push your luck.”
“Your life,” Margaret sighed. “But rememberresponsibility marks adulthood. And you two? Just a mess.”
***
Her mums advice stuck. Marriage was a safety net. Even her mate Sarah agreed:
“Say you get a mortgage. Its in Dans name. What if you split?”
“Pessimist!”
“Suppose he gifts the flat to his nephew. You wont have a leg to stand on! Court without a certificate? Waste of time.”
“Ill save receipts, get witnesses!”
“Or” Sarah grinned slyly, “just sign the papers.”
“Mum says to tease him with hubby. Ease him into it.”
“Well? Get on with it!”
***
Emily started calling Daniel “husband” at every chance. He laughed it off at first, then got used to it. She almost believed the charadeuntil she told his boss that fatal line: “This is his wife.”
***
“Weve been together six years!” Emilys voice trembled. “I thought we were family. Kids, growing old together”
“You shouldve kept quiet!” He paced furiously. “Why involve Laura? Now Im getting sacked!”
“But I always call you my husband!”
“The difference is, youve ruined my career!” Daniel slammed his keys down. “I wouldnt marry youI wont even live with you! Packing my stuff!”
“Youre serious?” She gaped. “So I said wife”
“Laura kept me on because of personal interest. Now Im married? Youre in her way!”
***
A week later, Laura herself rang the bell.
“Sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I wanted to explain. Not about the sackingabout your years of lies. We all thought he was single”
“We never signed anything,” Emily whispered.
“Cohabiting,” Laura corrected. “But youre free now. And you know” Her lips quirked. “Hes not your match. Not a husband, not a partnerjust a prat with a P.”
Emily nodded. Nothing left to say.
