Are you sure the flat is still yours?
Which one? The one on the fourth floor?
Im just a spare piece in it! Olivia Finch confessed, cheeks burning with shame.
Then come to my place, a former schoolmate blurted out suddenly.
Blythe, Finch, is that you? a gruff voice called across the hallway.
Yes, Im Finch! the woman replied, though shed taken her former husbands surname, Finch, after their divorce. How did this stranger know her?
Im Sam Leonard, the stranger announced with a grin. Dont I look familiar? You havent changed a bit!
Leon had abandoned his wife after their second child was born, claiming she hadnt given him a chance to grow. It was the wild 1990sno selfhelp books, no internet, no lifecoaches. Everyone was just trying to survive. Leon left; Olivia was left with two kids, the younger still an infant.
The first thought that flickered through her mind was to end it all, but reasonmiraculouslywon out.
Her father stepped in: the factory where hed worked collapsed, and he was laid off. The engineer became a caretaker.
They scraped by, living on the edge of hunger. Olivia was the sole earner; Leons child support cheques were laughably small, and everything else rose in price like a neverending spiral.
When the baby turned one, Olivia began selling imported coats. Money eased, though only a little. Together they managed to raise the children, even sending them to free evening classes.
Their kids grew up, found partners, and started families of their own. Lena, the eldest, announced, Im pregnant, Mum! Youll be a grandmother soon!
A burst of joy filled the flat.
Everything seemed fine until Lenas boyfriend moved into their twobedroom flata flat that, back in the 1970s, had been given to Olivias father by the plant. By then her parents were long gone. In those days a modest twobedroom was considered a palace, complete with a cupboard and a balcony.
Now Olivia had to share a room with her son, and soon Simon dragged his new girlfriend in, demanding they register a tenancy. Everything unfolded with a veneer of propriety, but reality soon crushed the pretence: there was no room for the mother to sleep.
Her girlfriend would crash on the couch at night, and a folding mattress was shoved into the kitchen and, absurdly, into the cupboard. Olivia refused to sleep in the kitchenshe called it humiliating. The only option was the cramped cupboard.
Just leave the door open and itll be fine, her son and daughter urged, trying to be fair.
For a few days Olivia didnt shut the cupboard door. Then she found her own belongings and trinkets tossed there, and the cupboard became her permanent prison.
By then Simon had married. You have to understand, Mum, we cant afford another flat, he said apologetically. Olivia tried to be usefulcooking, cleaningonly to be treated like an old dog, banished to the cupboard.
The thought of spending her life among jars and boxes grated on her pride. Shed raised a son and a daughter; there was no excuse for this.
Money was tight; she taught English at the local secondary school and tutored afterhours, but it still wasnt enough for a decent rented room. The free cupboard was all she owned.
One evening she packed a small bag with her passport and salary card, left the flat, and sat on the bench outside the block, hoping some constructive idea would strike. There were no lessons the next day; she could waste time until the carrots in the garden wilted.
Blythe, Finch, is that you? a man called again.
Yes, Im Finch, she answered, still using the name from a broken marriage.
Im Sam Leonard! the stranger shouted, delighted. You didnt change a bit!
Dont lie, Sam, she muttered. Ive changed. Ive changed.
Time, she thought, is a terrible beautician. The class heartthrob had turned into a balding, overweight pensioner, and she felt no better.
How many years had passed? Twenty? At a reunion they could still recognize each others faces. Shed once been smitten with him at school, even invited him to the proms slow dance. Hed married the daughter of a powerful party official, a careerdriven woman.
What are you doing out here? Its freezing! Dont catch your death, Sam joked, the humor that once made her laugh.
A former school friend, now an older man, struck up a conversation on the bench. Why are you in this part of town? he asked. Didnt you move?
Im just visiting my grandchildren. They live in my old flat. Im heading home. And you? Still in that old flat on the fourth floor?
Lets go together, remember the school days, the prom? Sam suggested.
Did you ever remember him? the elderly woman asked.
Which him? Sam replied.
Where did you disappear after school? the woman demanded.
Disappear? Olivia retorted, You started seeing that monkey? And then I vanished!
Dont mix up cause and effect, Blythe, Sam corrected. You left first, then I started seeing the monkey!
She stared, eyes wet. Where am I going?
Nowhere, she whispered, and began to cry.
Nowhere? You have a home? the man asked, flustered.
It seems not, she said softly.
Is the flat still yours? The one on the fourth floor?
Im just a spare piece there! she admitted, shame flooding her again.
Come to my place then, Sam offered, sudden as a breath.
What about your husband? Hell bring some other woman home. You cant stay on the street! Olivia protested.
Were divorced from that circus long ago. Move your things, dont be scaredI wont pester you.
He reached out his hand, helping her up from the bench. Ready? My cars just around the corner.
They walked away, the night swallowing them.
Sams flat turned out to be surprisingly cosy. He kept his word; he didnt press his advantage. For the first two months everything seemed hopeful, until he suggested marriage.
Are we really fiftythree? What a laugh, he chuckled, but Ive always liked a lively laughcatcher like you, Blythe.
She agreed, as any sensible realestate agent would.
During all this, the children never called. At first Olivia waited anxiously, then merely waited, and finally focused on planning a wedding and family life. She kept the news of the marriage from the kids; there was no grand ceremony, just a modest café gathering with four witnesses, a plausible excuse for the lack of relatives.
Later she deleted her sons and daughters numbers from her phone. If they dont remember me after all this time, Im not needed, she told herself, echoing the advice of selfhelp gurus about decluttering relationships.
A mother had become the unwanted piece of her childrens lives. If thats how it was, then perhaps they didnt need her either. Harsh? Yes. Fair? Perhaps.
Eight months after she left home, the long New Year holidays approached. Olivia and Sam went shopping at the supermarket.
A shrill cry rang out: Mum! and her daughter threw herself around her neck, while a jubilant son trailed behind.
They embraced, and Olivia asked, Why are you two in such an odd group?
Because brother and sister never shopped together beforeeither alone or with partners.
Were always together now, their embarrassed brother, Simon, explained.
Both had divorced their spouses.
Right away? Olivia gasped. Youre reckless! Why?
Because because, they stammered, and Olivia hit the markshed woken them at the perfect moment.
Theyd arrived unannounced, catching Simons wife and Lenas husband together, their love a longstanding affair.
When will you be back, Mum? the smiling son asked, hopeful that everything would finally be okay.
And where have you been? We missed you! his sister added.
Why did you only realize it now? a strangeranother man with a oddly plumped figureinterjected, his tone mocking. You were going to hide for years so Blythe wouldnt recognise you!
Whats it to you? Simon snapped. Are you some Blythe fan?
And when will you return? the man repeated.
Yes, his daughter chimed, Simon never lifts a finger around the house. Im pulling my hair out with the baby!
She tried a joke: You raised a good son!
The man, unbothered, retorted, Show your teaching skills and try to reform that goatlike brother, or well all be critics!
Who are you, anyway? the daughter demanded.
Im the bloke in the drab coat! he announced proudly.
The coat was indeed drab, and Olivia now wore something newshed finally been able to spend money on herself after years of giving it all away.
What husband? the children asked, astonished.
Just an ordinary vulgar bloke, the swaggering man replied. Thats why Mum wont come back. Shes got her own life now!
Dont you want to be a grandmother? Lena asked, hopeful.
Blythe wants to be a wifethats far sweeter. Besides, why would I sleep with a grandmother? the man joked, then added, Nice to meet you. Now were off!
Us? Sergey whispered.
And youll probably go too, the man sneered at Olivias husband.
Olivia stayed silent, a thin smile playing on her lips.
The man took Olivias arm and said, Ready to go?
They left, and the stunned children stood rooted, bewildered.
When Olivia and Sam returned from the market, Sam asked, Hows the space suit? Too tight? Can you breathe?
Both knew the referencespace suit was a nickname for his protective nature. He was indeed her shield. No one had ever loved her like that.
Olivia felt, at last, that the suit fit perfectly; she could launch into the stars. It was never too late.
Ready? she whispered.
And they were off.
