There Won’t Be a Wedding “Why are you so quiet today?” asked Tanya. “We agreed we’d go furniture shopping for the bedroom on Saturday, but you look so down. What’s wrong?” Denis knew: it had to be now or never. He had to say it now. “Tanya… There’s something I need to talk about. About the wedding.” Tanya had been waiting for this conversation for ages. They had settled on a small, quiet celebration, but she could see Denis wanted to throw her a proper wedding: lots of guests, a photographer, coordinators… She had dreamt of this conversation! “Just don’t beat around the bush. I think I know what you’re about to say,” Tanya smiled. But Denis blurted out, “Let’s postpone… Let’s postpone the wedding.” This was not the conversation she had prepared for. “Postpone?” she was stunned. “Where’s this coming from? Why? We were just talking about ordering invitations. You picked them yourself! We were deciding who to invite! Have you changed your mind about marrying me?” Like some melodrama, she half-expected him to say his feelings had faded. But Denis, again, said the unexpected. “It’s just… money’s tight right now,” he mumbled. “They’re delaying my salary. We haven’t managed to save up. And… we’ve only lived together for six months. Maybe it’s a bit early, don’t you think?” “Too early?” Tanya choked. “Denis, we’ve been together for three years! Three years in a relationship and six months living together, and you think it’s ‘too early’?” Denis no longer looked afraid. “Come on, Tanya. I don’t want to argue. It’s just… a pause. I haven’t changed my mind about marrying you, but weddings are expensive.” “Fine. Then let’s just get married at the registry office, and celebrate with friends afterward.” “Tanya, that wouldn’t be a real wedding.” “Well, who cares!” “But you always dreamed of…” “I’ll get over it!” Strange excuses, she thought. “Tanya—” “Just be honest. What’s happened? You’re not sure you love me? Or… maybe you’ve met someone else? Because ‘the wedding is expensive’ doesn’t sound very convincing.” Denis shook his head. “No, Tanya, I promise. I just want everything to be perfect, you know? And right now, I can’t give us the perfect wedding. And yeah, six months… We haven’t figured each other out yet. We need to make sure we’re right for each other…” There was a certain logic in what he said. He was persuasive, but Tanya’s intuition was screaming. Denis so rarely tried to convince her of anything— and it was he who had insisted they marry soon. Still, she pretended to buy it. After that, Denis became the model boyfriend, paying attention to every little thing he’d previously ignored, as if trying to make up for the cancelled wedding. At the shops, he always asked her what she wanted. He always did the dishes. But he was gloomy, not just thoughtful, but properly gloomy—sighing at night, staring at the ceiling, and brushing aside Tanya’s questions with, “Oh, it’s nothing, just tired.” Tanya tried not to push. “Later, later, later,” whispered her inner voice. A couple of weeks later, they were invited to Denis’s parents. Tanya tried to avoid it—she really didn’t want to go. And Denis didn’t mention the wedding anymore, but she was sure his parents would ask—awkward. But in the end, they had to go. Of course, the topic of the wedding came up. “When are you finally going to make us happy?” his mum asked once his dad had gone to watch TV. “We’ve already picked a spot for the reception. A table for twenty. When should I book it?” Denis sat with a sullen face, just like Tanya. Book what? There was nothing to book. “Mum, we’ve already said. It’s postponed,” he croaked. “Postponed? Why? Is it money? Denis, why didn’t you think about that sooner, as a man?” After dinner, while the men peered enthusiastically at the broken speaker that would never get fixed, Tanya went to freshen up in the bathroom. Everything was spotless—like an operating theatre. Not a speck of dust. And no makeup, except for shower gel and shampoo; his mum always stored her cosmetics in the bedroom. Tanya always wondered at her dedication, hauling it all back and forth every time. As she wiped her face with a towel, her ears caught a sound… The bathroom walls were famous for carrying voices, especially when secrets were being discussed. Denis had gone back to the kitchen and was talking with his mother. And Tanya overheard… “…Denis, have you decided to break up with Tanya?” Tanya froze, towel on her chin. What? She didn’t pretend she might have misheard. Carefully, so nothing creaked, she pressed her ear to the cool tiles. “Mum, I told you. We postponed. But we haven’t broken up.” “Postponed is just an excuse!” hissed Galina Sergeyevna. “I can see you’re suffering. Why is she so important? She’s not wife material. A wife should respect her husband, not this… What’s the point of marrying if you’ll be divorced in a year?” “I love her, Mum,” Denis replied. Tanya even began to feel moved. But his mother’s next words snapped her out of it. “You love her, do you? She’s a crafty one, Denis. I told you! She’s not even your wife yet, but already she’s turned you against us. You stopped helping your sister, stopped coming to visit… She’s changing you, and not for the better.” Tanya stayed pressed against the wall, ear glued to the cold tile. Against them? When had that ever happened? She’d always been as polite as possible with Denis’s parents, even when Anatoly Petrovich had criticised her new haircut. She’d been hurt, but said nothing. She couldn’t remember a single time she’d deliberately come between Denis and his family. On the contrary, she’d always urged him to keep in touch—she knew how much family meant to him. Then it hit her: the postponed wedding. It wasn’t about money. His mummy, who lies to her face, didn’t want the wedding! Tanya hurried out to them. “Ah, Tanya’s back! We were just saying it’s best not to delay the registry. You’re young, sure, but I don’t approve of living together without the paperwork.” How sweet. “Of course, Mrs Stevens,” said Tanya briskly. “We won’t put it off for long. Once we’ve saved a bit more, we’ll head to the registry. Isn’t that right, Denis?” “Yes, Tanya, it’s as good as done,” he agreed. That night, driving home, Denis tried to put his arm around her, but Tanya kept edging away. She didn’t know how to broach the subject. Should she bring it up at all? If Denis hadn’t dumped her at his mother’s wish, then obviously he loved her… But he had cancelled the wedding. “You acted strange when your mum started talking,” she said, watching the riverside lights vanish into the distance. “Me? No, it’s just she keeps rushing us about the wedding and…” “Don’t lie. She’s not rushing you into marriage. She’s totally against it. She told you I’d come between you. And she told you to break up with me.” Denis jerked the steering wheel. “So you heard? Tanya, Mum’s just worried her little boy is marrying and will forget her. The usual story. Don’t take it personally. She’ll get over it.” Tanya wasn’t especially hurt by a mother-in-law not wanting to let her son grow up. What bothered her most were Denis’s own words. He hadn’t stood up for her. He just agreed, to avoid an argument. The wedding question was left hanging. Denis continued to mope, and now, whenever Tanya hinted about the future, his answer was always, “Maybe later…” Then she stumbled upon Denis’s unlocked phone. “I’m just checking the time,” she told herself. “Not reading messages. Just a quick peek…” On the screen: a message from his sister, Vera. Vera, only two years younger than Tanya, but acting like she was still twelve. No work, no study, living at home on her parents’ dime. The message was blunt: “So that’s it, I guess I won’t see any money from you. You’re under the thumb again. Well, go live with her if some random girl means more to you than your family.” Tanya reread it. “Under the thumb, again.” Then she remembered something… Before the wedding was cancelled, after yet another call from Vera asking Denis for spending money, Tanya hadn’t held back: “Denis, she’s twenty-seven, lives with your parents, and asks you for entertainment money. Maybe she should get a job? Our budget can’t stretch forever.” She wouldn’t have intervened, except that her own money was part of the household pool—she brought home as much as Denis, and sponsoring his family wasn’t part of the deal. Denis had reluctantly agreed. “You’re right, Tanya. Time to call it off.” Now it was clear who was really turning everyone against Tanya. She took Denis’s phone, copied the message from Vera, and sent it to herself for proof. Then put the phone back, exactly as it was. Denis was shaking off snow in the hallway: “I got bread, and grabbed your favourite chocolate with nuts. I was thinking, Tanya, maybe we should’ve…” “Denis,” Tanya interrupted calmly. “What, expecting someone else?” he joked. Tanya didn’t smile. “What’s Vera writing to you?” she asked. Denis decided attack was the best form of defence: “Were you snooping on my phone while I was out??” The classic defensive move. Try to shift the blame. “Doesn’t matter what I was doing, Denis. I want an explanation. Right now.” Denis paused, his face running the gauntlet from anger to panic. “Oh come on, Tanya, don’t pay attention. She’s still a kid, always overreacts.” “Overreacts about what? About me telling her to grow up?” Tanya pressed. “She’s just used to being able to ask her brother for anything. Hard habit to break. Don’t worry, she’ll get over it.” “Did she turn your parents against me?” “Well… yeah,” Denis admitted. “I tried to explain to them that it was our money, that Vera needed to start fending for herself. But Mum went ballistic—said you’d put me under the thumb, that I’d turned my back on my family for you! But that’s not what I think…” “But you called off the wedding… Okay. So, she’s the one turning your relatives against me. I get it. So I can’t deal with them anymore. But what about you? Do you actually want to marry me? Or are you just putting it off because you’re scared to tell your mum no?” “Of course, I want to marry you! Just… not yet… Maybe later… once it’s all calmed down…” There it was. “You know, Denis, I’ve realised something… I don’t want to marry someone who isn’t sure of his feelings, and jumps every time his sister sulks. I’m glad the wedding’s off.”

There Wont Be a Wedding

Why are you so quiet today? asked Emily, her voice gentle. We agreed wed go look at bedroom furniture on Saturday. You seem awfully down in the dumps. Whats wrong?

Thomas knew it had to be now or never. If he didnt say it today, he never would.

Em He hesitated, Theres something I need to talk to you about. The wedding.

Emily had long awaited this conversation. Theyd both agreed it would be a modest affair, nothing grand, but she had always known Thomas wanted to give her a proper weddingguests, photos, organisers… How she had looked forward to this moment!

Dont beat around the bush, Emily smiled. Ive a feeling I know what youre about to say.

But Thomas said, Lets postpone it Lets postpone the wedding.

That wasnt at all the talk shed expected.

Postpone it? Emily was at a loss. Wheres this coming from all of a sudden? Why? We were just going through invitations! You picked them! Weve decided who well invite! Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?

Like a scene from a melodrama, she braced herself for him to say his feelings had faded.

But Thomas, yet again, didnt follow the script.

Its just… moneys tight right now, he mumbled. My wages are late. We havent managed to save much. And, really, weve only lived together six months. Isnt it a bit soon?

A bit soon? Emily nearly choked. Thomas, weve been together three years! Three years courtship, and six months living togetherand thats too soon for you?

Thomas no longer looked so frightened.

Lets not start, Em. Im not after a row. Its just a pause, thats all. I havent changed my mind, but weddings cost a fortune.

Fine Lets just get married quietly. Just the two of us, and well celebrate with friends later.

Then it wouldnt be a real wedding, Em.

Oh, bother the wedding!

But you always dreamed of it

Ill cope!

He kept coming up with odd excuses.

Em

Tell me the truth. Has something happened? Are you not sure you love me? Or have you met someone else? Because weddings are too expensive isnt terribly convincing, you know.

Thomas shook his head.

No, Em, I swear. I just want everything to be perfect, you see? I cant give us the perfect wedding just now. And yes, only six months We havent quite settled into each other yet. Best to find out first if we really fit

There was a logic to it. He sounded sincere, but Emilys instincts screamed warnings. Thomas was rarely this persuasive, and hed always been the one pushing to wed sooner rather than later.

She pretended to believe him.

After that talk, Thomas became the model boyfriend, going out of his way to make up for the postponed wedding. He paid attention to little things hed never noticed before. In shops, hed always ask her opinion He washed the dishes without being asked… Yet always looked gloomy; not merely thoughtful, but brooding, sighing at night as he stared at the ceiling, brushing off Emilys questions with, Oh, its nothing, Im just tired.

Emily tried not to push. Later, later, later, her inner voice whispered.

A few weeks later, Thomass parents invited them over. Emily kept making excuses. She really hadnt the heart for itand Thomas hadnt mentioned the wedding again, so she knew his parents would bring it up, and that would be awkward.

But go they must.

Inevitably, the wedding came up.

When will you finally let us celebrate? his mother asked once his father had gone off to watch the telly. Weve already chosen a lovely spot for the reception. Room for twenty Which day should I book?

Thomas sat looking as sour as Emily. What was there to book? There would be no wedding.

Mum, we told you. Its postponed, he croaked.

Postponed? And whys that? No money? Thomas, as a man, you ought to have thought of that beforehand!

Later, while the men fiddled with an old radio that had been in bits on the kitchen table for years, Emily slipped off to the bathroom.

Spotless, as always; not a speck of dust. No sign of makeup, just body wash and shampoo. His mother kept all her cosmetics in her bedroom, and Emily always marvelled at her devotion to that ritual.

Emily dried her face and then pausedthese tiled walls had a knack for carrying voices. She could just catch the sound of Thomas talking with his mother in the kitchen

Thomas, did you decide to end things with Emily?

Emily froze, her towel at her chin. What? She didnt try to kid herselfshed heard it clear as day. Quietly, she pressed her ear to the cold tiles.

Mum, I told you. Were postponing. Were not breaking up.

Postponedrubbish! hissed Mrs. Hawthorn. I can see youre suffering. Why do you need her? Shes not wife material. A wife should listen to her husband, and she Why bother marrying if youll only divorce a year later?

I love her, Mum, said Thomas.

For a fleeting moment, Emily found herself moved.

But his mothers next words snuffed out any such sentiment.

You say you love her? Shes a sly one, Thomas. I told you! Shes not even your wife and already shes turned you against us. Youve stopped helping your sister, stopped coming to the cottage Shes changing you, and not for the better.

Emily clung to the wall, ear pressed to the chill of the tile. Turned him against them? When had that ever happened? Shed always tried her utmost to be polite, even when Mr. Hawthorn had ridiculed her new haircut. Shed bitten her tongue, though it stung.

Not once could she recall turning Thomas against his family. Quite the oppositeshed always encouraged his closeness to them, knowing how much they meant to him.

Then it struck her: the wedding postponement wasnt about money. It was his mother, who lied to her face, who wanted to stop the wedding!

Emily hurried to join them.

Ah, Emilys back! Mrs. Hawthorn exclaimed, all sweetness and light. We were just saying you shouldnt drag your feet over the registry. One must enjoy youth, yes, but life without a ring isnt right in my eyes.

How lovely of her.

Certainly, Mrs. Hawthorn, replied Emily. We shant be putting it off. Once weve put aside a bit more money, straight to the registry well go. Isnt that right, Thomas?

Yes, Em, as good as married already, he echoed.

That night, travelling home, Thomas tried to draw her close, but Emily kept shifting away. She didnt know how to voice her thoughts. Was there even any point? If Thomas hadnt dumped her simply because his parents said so, he must care Yet, the wedding was still off.

You acted oddly when your mum was talking, she said, watching the riverside lights vanish in the distance.

Me? No, shes just putting pressure on about the wedding and

Dont fib. Shes not pressurising youshes against the wedding altogether. She said Ive turned you against her. She wants us to break up.

Thomass grip tightened nervously on the steering wheel.

So you overheard? Em, shes just worried her boys going to get married and forget her. Its the usual. Dont take it to heart. Shell get over it.

Emily wasnt bothered by a mother unable to let go of her son. Thomass own words kept echoing in her mind. He hadnt stood up for her. Hed simply agreed, just to avoid disagreeing with his mother.

The wedding question remained unresolved. Thomas dragged himself about with all the cheer of a week-old lemon, and now, whenever Emily hinted at their future plans, he replied with the same refrain: Maybe later

Then one evening, Thomass phone was left unlocked.

Ill just check the time, Emily convinced herself. I wont read any messages. Just a quick glance.

Her eye caught the latest notification from his sister, Charlotte. Charlotte was two years Emilys junior, but acted as if she were twelve. No job, no schooling, still living with their parentsand off their purse.

The message was blunt:

So, thats it then, I suppose. Ill never see a penny out of you. Shes got you wrapped round her little finger. If some girls more important to you than family, fine.

Emily read it over. Wrapped round her little finger.

She remembered something

Before the wedding was called off, Charlotte had rung Thomas once more for money, and Emily, unable to contain herself, had remarked, Shes twenty-seven, living with her parents, and begging you for cash for nights out. Dont you think its time she stood on her own two feet? Weve got bills too.

Emily would rather not have intervened, but she contributed just as much to the household, and hadnt signed up to fund his family. Thomas had agreed, reluctantly: Youre right, Em. Its about time.

Now it was clear whod been sowing discord.

Emily grabbed Thomass phone, opened the chat with Charlotte, copied her message, and sent it to her own number, just for proof. She placed the phone back exactly where it had been.

Thomas was brushing off snow in the hallway.

Got the bread, and your favourite chocolate, with hazelnuts. Was thinking, Em, maybe we should have

Thomas, Emily interrupted.

Oh? Were you expecting someone else? he joked.

But Emily wasnt amused.

What did Charlotte mean by what she wrote you? she asked.

Thomas remembered, sometimes the best defence is attack and put on a wounded act.

So you went through my phone while I was out?

Classic diversion.

It doesnt matter what I did, Thomas. I want an explanation. Now.

He hesitated a moment, his face flickering through anger, panic, and dismay.

Oh, Em, dont let it bother you. Shes still young, takes everything personally.

What, upset because I suggested she grows up? Emily pressed.

Shes used to being able to ask her brother for anything, thats all. Hard to give up free money. Shell get over it, dont worry.

Shes the one who turned your parents against me?

Well yes, Thomas admitted. I tried to tell them its our money, Charlotte needs to be responsible Mum just took it as Emilys taken you away from the family! But I dont see it like that

But you called off the wedding Fine, shes turned your family against me, I get it. I cant deal with them anymore. But what about you? Do you even want to marry me, or are you just postponing things because youre afraid to say no to your mother?

Of course, I want to marry you! Just not right now Maybe later once everything’s settled

And there was Emilys answer.

You know, Thomas, she said quietly, Ive realised something. I dont want to marry someone who cant stand by his feelings and jumps every time his sister sneezes. Maybe its for the best that the wedding was called off.She reached for her coat. The whirring in her chest had quieted, replaced by something oddly calm.

Are you leaving? Thomass voice was thin, almost childlike.

Emily pulled on her boots. I think I need to, she replied. Because if I stay, nothing will ever change. Not with your familymaybe not with you. But I can change. I can choose not to keep settling for maybe later.

Thomas didnt move. He opened his mouth, closed it again, then looked down at his hands as if puzzled by their emptiness.

At the door, Emily paused. She turned, her eyes soft with weariness, but fiercer than hed ever seen. I want a marriage where the answer isnt maybe later, Thomas. Where I know Im importantwhere I know we both are.

She stepped out into the falling snow, the chocolate and bread forgotten on the kitchen counter behind her. The night was starless, but the snow caught the golden lamplight and flurried up about her ankles as she walked. Never before had she felt so alert and, even in her sorrow, so strangely hopeful.

Somewhere between his familys voices and her own quiet resolve, Emily had finally heard what she needed. For now, there would be no wedding, and no answer from Thomas.

And, to her own surprise, she was perfectly fine with that. With every step into the silver-dusted silence, Emily felt the weight of maybe lift, making room at last for the possibility of yessomeday, somewhere, with someone as brave as she had just become.