Déjà Vu
You know, shed been waiting for letters her whole life. Ever since she was a kid. The addresses kept changing, the trees shed pass each day seemed to grow smaller, people drifted further off, even her own anticipation became quieter as years went by.
He, on the other hand, never trusted anyone and didnt expect much from life. Outwardly, he was just your average bloketall, solid, always kept himself busy with work. And back home? Just him and his dog. Sometimes hed wander off on holidays, either by himself or with his four-legged mate beside him.
But she? She had this charm to her, with these big sad eyes that made you want to give her a hug. Someone once asked her, Whats the one thing you wouldnt leave the house without?
She answered, My smile! The way her dimples would pop out was proof enough of that.
Shed always been more comfortable messing about with the lads as a kid. The boys at her estate used to call her the pirate in a skirt. But there was this one secret game shed play whenever she was on her own shed imagine being a mum with loads of kids, a loving husband, all living together in a big, welcoming house wrapped up in a beautiful garden.
He absolutely couldnt imagine his life without sports. There was a cardboard box in his garage where all his trophies and medals lay half-forgotten, wrapped around old certificates. No clue why he kept them except, maybe, out of respect for his parents they were always so proud! He kept saying hed bring everything over to theirs someday. Standing at the top of the podium wasnt the point, though. He just loved the feeling of pushing himself to the limit, running until every muscle ached, until all his energy was wrung out and then this rush, a fresh burst of life.
Her parents died when she was about seven. Her little brother and her were sent to different childrens homes. Thats how they grew up with their own struggles, heartbreaks, and little joys. The old days of institution-living were behind them now. These days, their flats were right across from each other in a leafy part of town, with quiet roads, lively front gardens, and farmers markets at the end of their street. Her brothers family was her closest, maybe even her only real family.
It was one of those edgy days. She finished her shift and was cutting through the coach station yard. Old Mr. Watkins caught up, gave her a fatherly squeeze, thanked her for the Cornish pasties.
Promise me youll have a nap at home today, yeah? he said.
She waved him off, kissed his cheek, and hurried to her car.
Ahh he sighed as she dashed away, their paramedic vans driver watching on.
Theyd end up working together most bank holidays. No one ever wanted the festive shifts, not even the doctors.
In her shift crew there were two blokes who never warmed to her. Maybe because she kept her uniform and herself tidy, always looked bright she believed that a bit of cheer and neatness from the doctor could make a world of difference on a dreary day.
Hed been racing along, best as he could. The box of trophies thumped about in the boot, the dog whimpered anxiously in the back. His dad had asked him over for New Years this year. That same day, hed shifted the box into the car. He felt this rare contentment this time he wouldnt be working over the holidays. He did miss the lads and his coaching job, but these precious evenings with his folks left a bittersweet ache. A few days before New Year’s, the phone had rung just before dawn.
Mums not well, his dads voice was trembling. The man had retired from the army, a proper Colonel nothing ruffled him. His parents had been sweethearts since school and, even as pensioners, they still looked at each other like a pair of lovesick teens. There was always this twinkle in their eyes, as if they were in on a great secret.
She managed a tired smile that evening. She always baked piles of pies before New Year, dropping them off round the city after her shift. Today, shed even snatched a quick kip at the station. Otherwise, Mr. Watkins wouldnt have let her drive hed have insisted on chauffeuring her himself, beaming at her embarrassed smile.
She only had about six miles to go to reach her parents old house then, out of nowhere, a blizzard picked up. She thought back to a couple hours earlier, how the dog had rooted himself to the spot, refusing to climb in the car, the clatter of medals in the boot, endless round-trips on British roads, again and again.
Mum, Dad, hang in there Youre my whole world.
The dog gave him a nudge to the back of his head, as if reading his thoughts.
Sorry, mate. Cant forget about you!
She slowed down the engine. Proper snowstorm, really inconvenient timing. One last pie to deliver. Maybe a mile or two now, out on a country road and round the bend to a little village, where her favourite patient lived Mrs. Atkinson. Brave Mrs. Atkinson. It felt wrong to call this woman, sparkling eyes and all, just some old dear. Her husband had that same streak of light, too. Lovely couple. Adventurous spirits. Never ones to moan. She imagined her own parents mightve been like this
Suddenly: a dark blur, right under her tyres. Among the endless white.
Where did you come from, you silly mutt wandered out of the woods, or someones pet on the run?… Gorgeous eyes Whys your neck sticky?! Wet jumper Knackered Jack, Jackie, mate Hurts so much!… Mum, Im coming, Dad, Im nearly home Cant see
Mr. Watkins couldnt get through to her phone. Hed gone to collect the grandkids. No way an ambulance could manage those roads nowtoo much snow.
Hang on, lad Ill get you out of there. Lord help us There’s a dog, too
She was just about to set off again when a grey car whizzed by.
Someone in a hurry to get home, she thought. A few minutes later, seeing that same grey car flipped over, sliding into a ditch, a black dog lying a short way off, probably half-alive.
What time is it, anyway? she murmured later, letting hot water drum down in the shower she usually couldnt stand boiling baths, but nothing else would thaw that cold, shaking feeling. She sat on the bathroom floor, closed her eyes, exhaled, and wished for nothing but sleep.
How did you manage to pull him out? He was a big chap! her brothers voice rang in her head as all her muscles remembered the pain.
Shed taken the man, and both dogs, off herself to A&E in her own car; her brother intercepted halfway and helped. That very day, after sorting them, she swung by the village again to hand over the last pie and for whatever reason, she also grabbed the box of trophies that had flown out of the grey cars boot.
Might be important to that bloke, she figured. The main thing: everyones alive. Once hes feeling better, Ill give it back.
Mrs. Atkinsons husband answered the door, looking lost.
Somethings the matter? she blurted out.
My wifes in hospital. Im about to go see her. Didnt wait for my son cant get through to him.
She didnt say a word, just lowered her head.
You all right, yourself? he asked, holding her hand.
Let me give you a lift? she offered quietly.
They drove in silence, the storm outside had blown itself out.
The box in the back, wheres that from? the Colonel finally asked.
There was an accident. A man swerved to dodge a black dog running out of the woods, car rolled, the box must have shot out the boot
Grey car, white dog inside, black dog from the woods? his voice barely a whisper.
She stopped the car, looked over at him. The old Colonels fists clenched; he stared at the road.
Hes alive! And your wife will recover too, she promised, hugging him.
Daughter Mind if I call you that?
Of course! Tears stuck in her eyes.
My wifes had this weird dream three nights running, about a black dog. My sons dog is white. Where on earth did this black one come from?
All he could remember, as he drifted back to consciousness, was those eyes beautiful, unreal, and heartbreakingly sad. His dad was dozing in the hospital chair beside him.
Mum. Accident. It all rushed back. And the girls eyes
They celebrated New Year late, end of January. His mum was getting better. Dad was over the moon. Jack, his dog, had a slight limp but was getting there. Work was calling he needed to get the lads back in training after the holidays, prep for competitions. Hed overstayed at his parents place, but couldnt stop thinking about her that woman from the accident.
Just as he headed out, his dad called down from the attic window.
Need a hand up there, Dad?
His dad grinned slyly. Up in the attic, right on the dusty shelves, were all his sporting trophies.
And where did these come from, Colonel? he laughed.
Take a guess! Im off, Ill walk Jack before you go.
She was hurrying home earlier than usual; she needed to see Dinah. She couldnt leave her as soon as the vet gave the all-clear, shed brought her home; couldnt face sending her to the shelter. Dinah wasnt all black there was this perfect little white patch in the shape of a heart on her chest.
Back at her building, she automatically checked her letterbox about to close it again, when a glimpse of a white envelope caught her eye.
The letter read:
I’ll be coming round this evening. Thank you, dearest!
Love, like a compass, will always find its way.
