So, Ive just bought myself a flat in London and I was absolutely buzzing to finally tell my family my mum, dad, and my sister. But honestly, their reaction caught me completely off guard. Flats in the city cost a small fortune and it took me years and years of saving to manage the full amount. I was sick and tired of constantly moving house and dealing with unpredictable landlords, so I bit the bullet, got myself a mortgage, and finally have a place I can call my own. Even though I already had a decent deposit and could handle the loan repayments, it meant I wouldn’t be able to help out my family as much as I did before.
For nearly five years, Id covered all of my sisters university fees and regularly sent her spending money, no strings attached. I did it because I love them, and I really believe families ought to look out for each other. So when I invited my parents and my sister over to my new place, they didnt seem to think much of it and assumed I was just renting somewhere new, like usual. But when I told them, no, its actually mine, I was shocked at how little they cared not even a congratulations.
When I let them know Id need to scale back how much I could support them due to my mortgage, they absolutely kicked off and it all blew up into a massive row. Suddenly I was being accused of being selfish, of ruining all their plans. My mum let me know just how let down she was that now theyd have to dip into their own savings for my sisters education. Meanwhile, my sister, oblivious to it all, still expected me to keep my promise and buy her a new iPhone, never mind my situation. In that moment, I couldnt help but notice they only ever seem to message or pop round when they want something, usually money, and hardly ever ask about what I want or how Im actually doing.
Sitting there, honestly, I wasnt angry so much as confused. I started wondering at what point they stopped seeing me as a loved member of the family and more as simply a cash machine. Had it always been that way? I was left turning over all sorts of feelings, trying to work out the real nature of our relationship.
